Dogma quotes

162 total quotes

Loki
Metatron
Multiple Characters
Rufus
Serendipity

View Quote Let it never be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results!

View Quote Cardinal Glick: Christ didn't come to earth to give us the willies! He came to help us out. He was a booster.

View Quote (Loki, having just gunned down the corrupt board members at Mooby corporate HQ, helps the blood-spattered sole survivor to her feet and offers her a stick of gum.)
Loki: Gum? Go on, it's okay. You've done nothing wrong. Those other guys were finks. You're a pure soul. But you didn't say "God bless you" when I sneezed! (he brandishes his gun in her face)
Miss Pryce: Aaagh! (she covers her head.)
Bartleby, (from outside boardroom): Loki!
Loki, (to Ms. Pryce): You're getting off light!
Bartleby: Loki!
Loki: I know, I'm coming. (muttering) You're so lucky.

View Quote Gun store guy: We call this piece the 'Fecalator'. One look at it and the target shits him- or herself. Try it on.

View Quote Grant Hicks: [on TV news] With a papal sanction, the archway entrance of the century-old Jersey shore house of worship will serve as a passageway of plenary indulgence — a little-known Catholic belief which offers all that passes through its arches a morally clean slate.

View Quote Cardinal Glick: People find the Bible obtuse... even hokey.

View Quote Liz: [distracting anti-abortion protestors] Holy shit, it's the Pope!

View Quote White folks only wanna hear the good shit — life eternal, a place in God's Heaven - but as soon as you hear that you're gettin' all this good shit from a black Jesus, you freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior.

View Quote Oh, give over, will you? I couldn't rape you if I wanted to. Angels are ill-equipped. (lowers his pants) See? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. You bottom-feeders and your arrogance; you think everybody's just trying to get in your knickers.

View Quote Bethany: You know, two days ago I wasn't even sure God existed. Now I'm up to my ass in Christian mythology.
Rufus: Let me let you in on a little inside info. God hates it when it's referred to as "mythology".

View Quote Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind your false idol, far from judgment, lives shrouded in secrecy, even from each other. But not from God.

View Quote Bartleby: [as he stabs Loki] I'm sorry my friend, but you lost the faith.

View Quote Silent Bob: [after throwing Bartleby and Loki off a train; a la Indiana Jones] No ticket.

View Quote Last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. We can do the next best thing, let's kill people. (to terrified woman in the elevator) No, not you.

View Quote Bethany: How did you know where to find us?
Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? Watch the living. Especially in the shower.
Jay: I can't wait to die.