Jay quotes

I'm Jay, and this is my hetero life-mate Silent Bob.

Go back to your paper routes, you Mighty Duck ****s!

Snoogens! Did you see that shit, man? I know they were just kids, but we kicked their pube-less asses!

We figure abortion clinics are a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be here unless they like to ****?

No wonder he saw Jesus. Homey's rockin' the ganj!

I guess we're in charge of the gang now.

[awaking from a dream] I didn't cum in you, Pete, I swear.

Hey, Big Bird! Ready to play the counting game? Count the shells, suck-a-duck!

It's the end of the world, we got about five minutes... you said you'd **** me.

I feel like I'm Han Solo and you're Chewie (referring to Silent Bob) and she's Ben Kenobi (referring to Bethany) and we're in that '****ed-up' bar!

Gear?! Like I ever drove before.

What the **** do I know 'bout shiftin'?

She's a slut. Ba-a-a-a-ng.

So that would make Bethany part black? (after Rufus explains that Bethany is a direct descendant of Jesus)

Wait, you mean Silent Bob's an instrument of God?

Kill it! (after Rufus wakes up from his fall)

You know, you can have sex until the third trimester? (after Bethany reveals that she is pregnant)

Steady. You wanna be my girlfriend? (looks at Silent Bob) Ok, but Silent Bob gets to live with us and you pay the rent.

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