Baby Alligator: Mama?
Rodney: Mama? I'm not your mama.
Baby Alligator: Mama?

John: Who's this?
Rodney: I'll give you a hint. I'm cute, I'm furry, and I make five hundred babies a year!

Maya: Can I tell you a secret?
Archer: Yeah, sure.
Maya: When Mommy told me what happened to Daddy, I wasn't afraid, I was happy because I believed that he could talk to animals. I want Dad to be weird, just like me. Is that wrong?
Archer: No. No, it's not wrong.
Maya: Sometimes I don't think he likes me very much.
Archer: Honey, he loves you.
Maya: I know he loves me, but I don't think he likes me and I want him to. I gonna try to do things his way, Grandpa, and stop doing these stupid experiments.

Reverend: Leave this boy, devil man. Go now, Satan. Take the serpent's voices with you. I command you to come out of this boy! Come on out of this boy! God said it! Come on!
Young John: [of the prologue dog] She was my best friend.
Archer: You'll make some real friends now.
Lucky: From that day on, John Dolittle never spoke to animals again.
Archer: Someday, you're gonna thank me for this.

Young John: Why do dogs sniff each other's butts?
Prologue Dog: Well, this is kinda our way of shaking hands. If you really wanna get a sense of who somebody really is, you gotta sniff their butt.
Archer: Son! Stop talking to the dog. She doesn't understand a word that you're saying.

Archer: Son, I think you need a vacation.

Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!

Female Pigeon - Julie Kavner

German Shepherd: No! Don't fix me! DON'T fix me! I'll Never look at another female ever, I swear! Just don't take my manhood, man! Anything but my ma... Yo baby wassup you lookin' pretty sweet there sugar

Hey Doc, why'd ya go and do that? Now, if he tries to eat me again, I'm gonna smack that mustache off ya face!

Lucky - Norm MacDonald

Lucky: Why don't you watch where you're going next time, you bonehead!

Male Pigeon - Garry Shandling

Owl - Jenna Elfman

Prologue Dog - Ellen DeGeneres