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Die Hard

Die Hard quotes

60 total quotes

Hans Gruber
John McClane
Other


Theo: [Over the CB, as the police SWAT team closes in] Alright, listen up guys. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring — except for the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.


Businessman: You don't like flying, do you?
John: What gives you that idea?
Businessman: You want to know the secret to surviving air travel? After you get where you're going, take off your shoes and your socks then walk around on the rug bare foot and make fists with your toes.
John: Fists with your toes?
Businessman: I know, it sounds crazy. Trust me, I've been doing it for nine years. Yessir, better than a shower and a hot cup of coffee.
John: Okay.
[Businessman sees John's gun and reacts]
John: It's okay. I'm a cop. Trust me, I've been doing this for eleven years.

It's Christmas, Theo, it's the time of miracles. So be of good cheer and call me when you hit the last lock.

"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer." The benefits of a classical education.

McClane: Mayday, Mayday, Emergency anyone copy, Channel Nine, terrorists have seized the Nakatomi Building, Century City, I repeat, unknown number of terrorists, six or more armed with automatic weapons on the thirtieth floor of Nakatomi Plaza.
LAPD Operator: (To other operator) I'll take this.
McClane: Somebody answer me, goddamn it!
LAPD Operator: (Over Radio) This freqency is reserved for emergency communications...
McClane: No ****ing shit, lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza!?

[Stealing dead terrorist's shoes] Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.

Harry Ellis: Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash.

Yippee-ki-yay, mother****er.

Theo: [After a police Armored Personnel Carrier is blown-up by the terrorists] Oh my God, the quarterback is toast!

Dwayne: [Watching as FBI helicopter is destroyed] We're gonna need some more FBI guys, I guess.

FBI Agent Johnson: I'm Agent Johnson, this is Special Agent Johnson. No relation.

Dwayne: I got a hundred people down here and they're all covered in glass.
John: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the **** is this?
Dwayne: This is Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge here.
John: Oh you're in charge? Well I got news for you *Dwayne*, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne: You listen to me you little asshole—!
John: Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-****ed on national TV, Dwayne!

Al: In fact, I think he's a cop. Maybe not LAPD, but he's definitely a badge.
Dwayne: How do you know that?
Al: A hunch, things he said. Like being able to spot a phony ID.
Dwayne: Jesus Christ, Powell, he could be a ****ing bartender for all we know.

Dwayne: The FBI is here, now?
Cop: Yes, sir, right over there.
Al: Want a breath mint?

Hans: I thought I told all of you, I want radio silence until further...
John: Ooooh, I'm very sorry Hans. I didn't get that memo. Maybe you should've put it on the bulletin board. I figured since I've waxed Tony and Marco and his friend here, I figured you and Karl and Franco might be a little lonely, so I decided to give you a call.
Hans: Eh, that's... very kind of you, considering you are a mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard.
John: Bzzzt. Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?