Cobb: John, have you been drinking?
McClane: No, not since this morning.

Gang member: [pops up] Nicht schießen!
John McClane: [shoots him twice] ...what was that?
Mathias Targo: [kicks McClane out from behind] He said "don't shoot".

John McClane: Hey, can you pick locks?
Zeus: Is this one of those black things again?

Mathias Targo: I see you all day, little man. Policeman? [kicks McClane] And you don't go away!
John McClane: Yeah, I'm the fuckin' energizer bunny. [stabs him in the leg]

McClane: [on the guard's phone] Attention! Attention! Nils is dead! I repeat, Nils is dead, fuck-head. So's his pal, and those four guys from the East German All-Stars, your boys at the bank? They're gonna be a little late.
Simon Gruber: [on the phone] John... in the back of the truck you're driving, there's 13 billon dollars worth in gold bullion. I wonder would a deal be out of the question?
McClane: [on the phone] Yeah, I got a deal for you. Come out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass.
Simon Gruber: [on the phone] How colorful.

McClane: There's gold in the Federal Reserve, and they took a shitload of it! They're heading north in dump trucks!
Cobb: Have you been drinking, McClane?
McClane: No, not since this morning.

Simon Gruber: [into radio] Bridgeport coast guard, come in, please. [to McClane] They put you on hold?
John McClane: She told me to stay on the line.
Simon Gruber: [laughing] Oh, God, I love this country.
John McClane: You know, your brother was an asshole.
Simon Gruber: [looks up sharply, then laughs] He was an asshole! You-you got his number?

[after McClane and Zeus 'requisition' a man's car]:
Zeus: Hey, who was the twenty-first President?
Man: Go fuck yourself!

[McClane and Zeus are speeding through Central Park in a taxicab.]
Zeus: Are you aiming for these people?
John McClane: No! [pause] Maybe that mime.

[McClane opens jeep door & a dead body falls out]
Zeus: What are you doin'?
McClane: Interagatin' him.
Zeus: ...n' whats he gonna tell you, "I'm dead"?
McClane: Well I a'int gonna know 'til I ask him now, am I?

[the bomb starts beeping]
Zeus: What the fuck is that?
John McClane: I think I made it mad.

[while tied to a large bomb]
John McClane: Hey fuckhead. Yeah you; fuckhead. There's just one thing I gotta know. You got any aspirins? 'Cause I've had a bad fuckin' headache all day long.
Simon Gruber: [laughs and throws him a bottle of aspirin] Must be your lucky day. Keep the bottle!

[to McClane] You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate niggers" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.

[walking up to two bad guys in a truck] Hey fellas! Mickey O'Brien, aquaduct security. Hey listen, we got a report of a guy coming through with err... eight reindeer. [empties his pistol on them] Yeah, they said he was a jolly old fat guy with a snowy white beard, cute little red n' white suit! I'm surprised you didn't see him.

I never knew Canada could be this much fun.