The Departed quotes

View Quote Billy Costigan: Well, "Families are always rising and falling in America", am I right?
Capt. Queenan: Who said that?
Billy Costigan: Hawthorne.
Dignam: Pfft! What's the matter, smartass, don't know any ****in' Shakespeare?

View Quote Costello: Church wants you on your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you. A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it. "Non serviam."
Young Colin: James Joyce.
Costello: Smart, Colin. Guineas from the north and down Providence try to tell me what to do. And, uh, something maybe happen to them. Maybe, uh, like that.

View Quote [to Madolyn] If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, cause I'm not capable. I'm ****ing Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life.

View Quote [Upon learning the Police have found Delahunt's body and that he was a cop]
Fitzy: I don't believe it.
Mr. French: What can't you believe?
Fitzy: I spent all ****ing night dragging the poor bastard in there. Tell me how they find him so fast? Somebody walking a ****ing dog ? What ****ing size a dog is that? Has to be a big ****ing dog, man. I spent all night doing it man.
[pause, Frank stares at him]
Fitzy: I'm embarrassed. I still don't believe he was a cop, I don't believe it.
Costello: The COPS... are saying he's a cop... so I won't look for the cop. Are you soft, Fitz? When I tell you to dump a body in the marsh, you dump him in the marsh. Not where some guy from John Han**** goes every Thursday to get a ****ing blow job!
[Fitzy laughs, Frank hits him]
Costello: Don't laugh! This ain't Reality TV!

View Quote Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Madolyn: You know if you lied, you would have an easier time getting what you wanted.
Costigan: What does that say about what you do for a living?
Madolyn: I just think we should have a few more meetings before we even talk about prescriptions.
Costigan: Look... look, I'm having panic attacks, alright? The other night I thought I was having a ****ing heart attack. I puked in a trash barrel on the way over here. I haven't slept for ****ing weeks.
Madolyn: Is that true?
Costigan: Yeah, that's true. Alright? I said it was ****ing true. I want some ****ing pills and you're gonna what? You're gonna close my file? Is that what you're going to do?
Madolyn: No, I didn't close your file. I--
Costigan: I thought I was supposed to tell the truth here, if only ****ing here!
Madolyn: You are! You are!
Costigan: Christ. I mean, a guy comes in here against every, every instinct of privacy and self-reliance he has and what do you do? What do you do, huh? You send him off on the street to score smack, is that what you do? You're ****ing ridiculous!
[Madolyn hands Costigan some Valium]
Costigan: [picking up the pills] Two pills? Great. Why don't you just give me a bottle of scotch and a handgun to blow my ****ing head off! Are we done here with this psychiatry bullshit?
Madolyn: You know what? You can leave!
Costigan: What the **** did I just put myself through? I'm ****ing out of here. And what if that was a legitimate threat? Think about it, ****ing hotshot!

View Quote Costello: Have a seat, Bill. Do you know John Lennon?
Costigan: Yeah, sure, he was the president before Lincoln.
Costello: Lennon said, "I'm an artist. You give me a ****ing tuber (tuba), I'll get you something out of it."
Costigan: I tell you Mr. Costello, I'd like to squeeze some ****ing money out of it.
Costello: Smart mouth. Too bad. If you'll indulge me--
[Gwen walks through]
Costello: Now what?
Gwen: Choir practice.
Costello: Choir practice. The point I'm making with John Lennon is: a man could look at anything, and make something out of it. For instance, I look at you and I think, "What could I use you for?"

View Quote My theory on feds is that they're like mushrooms; Feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark. You girls have a good day.

View Quote Mr. French: Do you know me?
Billy Costigan: No... No.
Mr. French: Well, I'm the guy who tells you there's guys you can hit and guys you can't. Now, that's not quite a guy you can't hit, but he's almost a guy you can't hit. So I'm gonna make a ****in' ruling on this right now: you don't ****ing hit him. You understand?
Billy Costigan: Yeah, excellent. Fine, fine. Fine.
Mr. French: I ****ing know you. I know your family. You make one more drug deal with that idiot, ****ing cop-magnet of a cousin and I'll forget your grandmother was so nice to me. I'll cut your ****ing nuts off. You understand that?
Billy Costigan: Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Mr. French: What are you drinking?
Billy Costigan: Cranberry juice.
Mr. French: What is it, your period? Get him a cranberry juice.

View Quote Bookie: I'm in the hole, I pay him two grand a week! No profit, I pay him two grand a week!
Mr. French: Then make more ****ing money. This is America: You don't make money, you're a ****in' douche bag! Now, what're you gonna do?
Bookie: Make more money!
Mr. French: That's the spirit!

View Quote I'm concerned about a ****, who thinks it's wise to come to a business meeting, carrying automatic weapons. Because in this country, it don't add inches to your dick, you get a life sentence for it.

View Quote **** you, ****in' ****s. Firemen gettin' pussy for the first time in the history of fire or pussy. Hey, go save a kitten from a tree, you ****ing homos!

View Quote Costello: [about Costigan] Do you trust him?
Mr. French: Well these days, who's reliable?
Costello: His uncle Jackie was. Yeah, you can't trust a guy acts like he's got nothing to lose.
Mr. French: I'm reliable.
Costello: Arnold, you're one in a million.
Mr. French: Ten. Ten million.
Costello: What about your wife, Arnold?
Mr. French: Well, I thought she was.
Costello: [laughing] She wasn't!
Mr. French: Well, she got reliable.
[flashback showing French strangling his wife]

View Quote You sit there with a mass murderer. A mass murderer. Your heart rate is jacked. And your hand, steady. That's one thing I figured out about myself in prison. My hand does not shake. Ever.

View Quote Your ****in' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-****in'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the ****in' donkey on the weekends. I got that right? Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little ****in' snake. You were like two different people!

View Quote Costello: I'm going to have my associate search you.
Costigan: No, no one's ****ing searching me. Searching me for what?
Costello: Contra-****ing-band. Take your shoes off.
[French slams Costigan into a chair]
Mr. French: Shoes.
Costello: [to Costigan] I knew your father.
Costigan: Yeah? You know he's dead?
Costello: Oh, sorry. How'd he go?
Costigan: He didn't complain.
Costello: Yeah, that was his problem.
Costigan: Who said he had a problem?
Costello: I just said he had a ****ing problem. There's a man who could have been anything.
Costigan: Are you trying to say he was nothing?
[French slams Costigan onto a pool table and continues his search]
Costello: I'm saying he worked at the airport. Arm.
[French directs Costigan to a pool table, making him hold out his casted arm]
Mr. French: Show me your arm. Flip it. mm-hmmm, mm-hmmm.
[French slams Costigan's arm on the table until the cast breaks, while Costigan screams in pain]
Costello: It makes me curious to see you in this neighborhood. And if I can slander my own environment, it makes me sad. This, uh, regression. Plus, I don't know if it's beyond some ****ing cop prick like Queenan to pull you out of the Staties and send you gift-wrapped to me. I just can't know. I wonder what they do in that particular department, anyway.
[Costello slams on Costigan's broken arm with Costigan's boot]
Costello: [yelling] Are you still a cop?
Costigan: [in severe pain] No!
[Costello whacks his arm again]
Costello: [yelling] Swear on your mother's grave you're still not a cop?!
Costigan: I'm not a ****ing cop!
[Costello whacks his arm again, this time re-breaking it]
Costello: [yelling] Are you going to stop doing coke deals with your jerk-off ****ing cousin?!
Costigan: Yes, yes, yes!!
Costello: Alright, alright. You're okay, you'll be alright. Get your hand taken care of.
[Costello throws down some money]
Costello: I'm sorry, but it was necessary. As for our problem with Providence - let's not cry over some spilled guineas.