Death to Smoochy

Death to Smoochy quotes

33 total quotes (ID: 829)

Other
Rainbow Randolph
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy


You can't change the world but you can make a dent.


Sheldon: So remember kids, a step-dad is a lot like a new puppy. They need patience and love while they adjust to their new surroundings. But remember - if he is ever abusive to you or mommy, what are the magic numbers?
Kids: 9-1-1!
Sheldon: Thaaaaaaat's right!

Now I'm not pointing any fingers, Lord knows you start pointing fingers and someone's gonna get poked. And I want you both to know that its not my intention to try and...poke either of you.

You better grow eyes in the back of your head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubber ass! I'm goin' on safari, mother****er! SAH-FAR-I! [makes a rhino noise]

Bastard son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam mother****er!

[singing] He slams the door, He stomps his feet, He sends me to bed with zilch to eat. But my step-dad's not mean, he's just adjusting.

That fuschia ****! I'm gonna tear him apart, piece by piece!

When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.

[to a baby, after framing Sheldon] Hello, little nipple-nibbler. The rhino's a Nazi!

[to Sheldon] Do not start with your magician's tricks, young Moses! I am Pharaoh! And you are my slave...and this is my kingdom!

Even when you're squeaky clean, you can still fall in the mud.

Captain Kangaroo, like Jesus Christ, was someone you could really believe in. With those guys, it wasn't about the bells and whistles and the rickety-rackety; it was all about the work. Especially Jesus.

Don't talk to me like that. I am not your puppet.

There are a lot of kids and a lot of junkies out there who are counting on me.

Let's face it. Big junkies come from little junkies. We gotta nip this in the bud, Burke!