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Dazed and Confused

Dazed and Confused quotes

76 total quotes

Benny O'Donnell
David Wooderson
Don Dawson
Fred O'Bannion
Mike Newhouse
Multiple Characters
Randall "Pink" Floyd
Ron Slater




View Quote Slater: You cool man?
Mitch: Like how?
Slater: [rolling his eyes as he walks away] OK man.
Pink: He was asking if you get high.
View Quote Tony: [describing his dream] So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
Mike: What?
Tony: I can't say.
Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.
View Quote Tony: So, you're not gonna go to law school? What do you wanna do then?
Mike: I wanna dance!
View Quote Wooderson: I've been thinkin' about gettin' back in school, though, man.
Dawson: What, like, J.C. or something like that?
Wooderson: Yeah, man. But I'd just as soon keep workin', though, keep a little change in my pocket. Better than listenin' to some dipshit, doesn't know what the hell he's talkin' about, anyway!
Dawson: I know what you're talkin' about, man!
Wooderson [to Mitch]: So, you're a freshman, right? Tell me, man, how's this year's crop of freshman chicks lookin' this year?
Dawson: Wood, you're gonna go to jail very soon, man!
Wooderson: Naw, man, that's what I like about these high school girls, man; I get older, they stay the same age..
View Quote Wooderson: Say, man, you got a joint?
Mitch: No, not on me, man.
Wooderson: It'd be a lot cooler if you did.
View Quote [after Dawson tackles him, playfully] What the ****, man!
View Quote [looking over Austin, Texas] Would you look at this ****ing town, man? It's dead. Imagine how many people out there are ****in' right now man, just goin' at it.
View Quote [on public address system, to junior high students] Okay, all you freshman ****s, listen up! Normally you'd be spending your freshman summer getting your asses busted, and running for your worthless little lives. But today, since we feel so sorry for you, we're gonna make it easy on ya. If you meet us, right here, after school you'll only get one "lick" from each of us. But if you run like cowards, well, it's open season, all summer long, boys. Oh, and Mitch Kramer. Mitchy-Mitchy-Mitchy...We're gonna be lookin' for you, pal. Your ass is gonna be purple by the time this day's over. Have a nice afternoon. [kisses CB mic]
View Quote [to Cynthia, after getting his ass kicked by Clint] I got some pretty good hits in there, right? I mean, you wouldn't say I got my ass kicked..right?
View Quote [to Mitch] You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like her 'cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that [snaps fingers]. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later." Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.
View Quote [tricking the freshman so he can use the keg] Oh no! Look, look! It's the cops! [they all run] See? It's so easy.
View Quote Alright, alright, alright.
View Quote Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.
View Quote Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky shit goin' on there. And it's green too.
View Quote George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man.