Dazed and Confused

Dazed and Confused quotes

76 total quotes (ID: 152)

Benny O'Donnell
David Wooderson
Don Dawson
Fred O'Bannion
Mike Newhouse
Multiple Characters
Randall "Pink" Floyd
Ron Slater


Dawson: Hey, "Tubs". Catch. Get outta here.
[tosses a freshman a beer]
Benny: What are you wasting a beer on him for?
Dawson: What? It's not a big deal
O' Bannion: Man, this ****ing sucks! Last ****in' day of school, no ****in' party, no ****in' -- Ah!
[throws a beer out of anger]
Benny: You just wasted another ****in' beer.
O' Bannion: Ah, shut up.


Dawson: There's Shavonne. I think she might still be mad at me. Watch me get something going here.
[The girls drive up]
Dawson: Hey, what's going on?
Shavonne: Hey, not much. How about you?
Dawson: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.
Shavonne: Oh really? Cool, so I guess we'll see ya there?
Slater: All right, check ya later!
[The girls leave]
Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?
Slater: What are you talking about man?
Dawson: [derisively] "Check ya later! Check ya later!" [laughs]
Slater: Hey man, get off my case!
Dawson: Chicks don't wanna hear that shit, man!
Slater: The chicks in our grade don't wanna hear nothin', man! The g-, the girls in our grade are all prudes, man! They're worthless little bitches! The ones who came before us, man, they were wild, man!
Dawson: Yeah, sounds to me like you just haven't gotten past the sniffin' butt stage, man, that's what that sounds like.
Slater: Hey, it's quality, not quantity, man...It's like when I get to college, man, I can't wait to get to college!
Dawson: Yeah, when I get to college, all I'm gonna do is, bang bang bangbangbangbang..

Freshman Girl: Will you marry me?
Dawson: I don't know. What's in it for me?
Freshman Girl: Anything you want.
Dawson: Anything?
Freshman Girl: Anything.
Dawson: [opening his mouth wide] Go like this. [she opens her mouth] Do you spit or swallow?
Freshman Girl: Whatever you...like.
Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.

Hirschfelder: What the hell are we doing? I was gettin' there. Man, I had my hand up her shirt.
Carl: You were gettin' there? You hear that, he was gettin' there. Son, you wouldn't know what to do even if you had gotten there, so don't worry about it.
Hirschfelder: Just because you guys are striking out...
Tommy: Grow up, boy. That was our last junior high party.
Carl: That's right. We're in the big time now. We're freshmen. Where all the girls be putting out. Your days of fooling around with doing tongue all night are over.

Kaye: You know, you guys were in class trying to list all the "Gilligan's Island" episodes without even a hint of irony.
Shavonne: What the hell are you talking about, girl?
Kaye: You weren't thinking about it, were you?
Shavonne: Gilligan's Island?
Kaye: It's what's called a male pornographic fantasy.
Shavonne: Oh my...
Kaye: Think about it. You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women. One a seductive sex-godess type, the other a healthy girl-next-door type with a nice butt. So guys have it all, the madonna and the whore. Women get nothing; we get a geek, an overweight middle-aged guy, some nerdy scientific type, I mean...
Jodi: The professor's sexy.

Kyle: George toked weed, man?
Slater: Absolutely George toked weed, are you kiddin' me, man? He grew fields of that stuff, man, that's what I'm talkin' about. Fields.
Kyle: He grew that shit up Mount Vernon, man.
Slater: Mount Vernon, man? He grew it all over the country, man. He had people growin' it all over the country, you know. The whole country back then was gettin' high. Lemme tell you, man, 'cause he knew he was onto somethin', man. He knew that it would be a good cash crop for the southern states, man, so he grew fields of it, man. But you know what? Behind every good man there's a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and every day, George would come home, she'd have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he'd come in the door. She was a hip, a hip, hip lady, man.

Michelle: [singing] Watch them fly... away...
Pickford: You guys know what that song is about? It's about aliens. We're the aliens, man. We're the savages.
Kyle: What, you mean that song's about that?
Slater: Yeah, man. That song is about that, man.
Kyle: About aliens?
Slater: Yeah, man. You didn't know that? This country's founded... it was founded by people who were into aliens, man. George Washington, man. He was in a cult. And the cult was into aliens, man. You didn't know that?
Kyle: No.
Slater: Oh, man, they were way into that type of stuff, man.

Mike: Don't air raid for that bitch, I hate that shit. It's like that Clint ****er in front of all his friends. Huh? Huh, mother ****er?
Tony: Okay Mike.
Mike: Dominant male monkey mother ****er.

Mike: I'm just sayin', if we're gonna go out, if we're gonna drive around, we should just do something.
Cynthia: Yeah, you know, you're right, man. I'm just gonna, you know, get drunk, maybe get laid or start a fight...
Mike: I'm serious, man. We should be up for anything.

Mitch: [after seniors threaten him] Er, Mr. Payne. Sir. You know every second that you could let us out early would really increase our chances of survival.
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle. [shouts] Men! Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back.
Mitch: Okay.

O'Bannion: Hey Slater, you ****in' hippie, give me drugs, man.
Slater: Go get some from your mother, man.
O'Bannion: We just bagged your mother.
Slater: Okay, **** you dickhead.

Pickford: Slater-san, how's it goin'?
Slater: Fixin' to be a lot better, man.

Pink: Don, have you ever thought about why we play football? How many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?
Don: I don't know. A few, probably...
Pink: A few? Well, all I'm saying is that I think we'd do just as good if we were, like, in a band or something...

Slater: [continuing his speech about George and Martha Washington] ...and she was real cool too. She'd harvest the crops, man. That's what I'm talkin' about. She'd put it in the bushels and stuff, and sell it, you know, because they had to make ends meet and stuff. I mean, did you ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky stuff goin' on on a dollar bill, man. And it's green too.

Slater: This place used to be off limits, man, 'cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smacking his head on every beam, man. I hear it doesn't hurt after the first couple though. Autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have?
Mitch: Four.
Slater: You're dead, man, you're so dead. Look at the blood stains right there.