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Luther: Just another typical day in New York City. Traffic jam ten blocks long! Lookie here, Buddha. These people, and their cars, and their exhaust, and they're just polluting the atmosphere!

FOX Anchorwoman: What you're seeing is what's left of downtown Los Angeles

Booker: The Canadians are reporting tremendous circulation moving down from the Arctic. In Siberia, there's a low pressure system unlike anything we've ever seen, and Australia just saw the strongest typhoon ever recorded

Helicopter Pilot: [Trying to restart plummeting helicopter] Come on, you bastard! Come on!

NY Businessman: [Sarcastically] Oh, God, I love busses. This is just so much fun. This is going to be… the bomb.

Reporter: And now, in a dramatic reversal of illegal immigration, thousands of people are now crossing the Rio Grande into Mexico. The scene that's unfolding here behind me is one of desperation and frustration. People have abandoned their cars, grabbed their belongings, and they are wading across the river illegally into Mexico.

Frank: [After falling through the ceiling of an indoor mall.] I'm fine! Just dropped in to do a little shopping.

Judith: Books can be good for something other than burning.

Parker: Have you ever seen the air so clear?

Jack Hall: What I do know, is that if we do not act soon, it is our children and our grandchildren who will have to pay the price.
Vice President Becker: And who's going to pay the price of the Kyoto accord? It would cost the world's economy hundreds of billions of dollars.
Jack Hall: With all due respect, Mr. Vice President, the cost of doing nothing could be even higher. Our climate is fragile. At the rate we're burning fossil fuels and polluting the environment, the ice caps will soon disappear.
Vice President Becker: Professor, uh, Hall, our economy is every bit as fragile as the environment. Perhaps you should keep that in mind before making sensationalist claims.
Jack Hall: Well, the last chunk of ice that broke off was about the size of the state of Rhode Island. Some people might call that pretty sensational.

Lucy Hall: Can you take him to the airport in the morning?
Jack Hall: Sam's getting on a plane?
Lucy Hall: He joined the scholastic decathlon team. They're competing in New York.
Jack Hall: Sam joined a team?
Lucy Hall: [Quietly] Yeah, I think there's a girl involved.
[Sam groans.]

Jack Hall: My seventeen-year-old kid knows more science than him
Tom: Perhaps, but your seventeen-year-old kid does not control our budget. It doesn't matter if he hates you.

Jack Hall: [On Sam failing calculus] I'm not angry. I'm disappointed.
Sam: Do you wanna hear my side of it?
Jack Hall: Sam, how can there be two sides?
Sam: Hey, look, I got every question right on the final and the only reason why Mr. Spengler failed me was because I didn't write out the solutions.
Jack: Why not?
Sam: I do them in my head.
Jack Hall: Did you tell him that?
Sam: I did. He didn't believe me. He said that if he can't do them in his head then I must be cheating.
Jack Hall: Well, that's ridiculous! How can he fail you for being smarter than he is?
Sam: That's what I said.
Jack Hall: You did? [Smirks] How'd he take it?
Sam: He flunked me, remember?

Brian: You know, statistically, the chance of a plane going down because of turbulence is less than, what, one in a billion? Or is it a million? I can't remember if it's
Laura: Shut up, Brian.

Terry Rapson: This is very odd. There's a buoy here registering a thirteen degree drop in ocean temperature.
Simon: Oh, yeah, that's right. That buoy malfunctioned the other day. I'll put a call in, see if there are any ships near George's Bank to get it.
Terry Rapson: This buoy isn't in George's Bank. It's just off Greenland.
Simon: It is?
[Terry zooms the map out to show both buoys flashing]
Simon: What are the odds of two buoys failing?
Terry Rapson: Remote.
[A third one in a different area begins flashing]
Terry Rapson: Make that three.

Brian: Man you got some serious competition.
Sam: Please.
Brian: I bet he's really rich too.
Sam: Shut up.

Terry Rapson: We found something extraordinary... extraordinary and disturbing, that is. You recall what you said in New Delhi about how polar melting might disrupt the North Atlantic Current?
Jack Hall: Yes.
Terry Rapson: Well... I think it's happening.

Terry Rapson: There are no forecast models remotely capable of plotting this scenario -- except yours.
Jack Hall: My model is a reconstruction of a prehistoric climate shift. It's not a forecast model.
Terry Rapson: It's the closest thing we have. Nothing like this has ever happened before.
Jack Hall: At least not in the last 10,000 years.

FOX Anchorwoman: [As tornadoes are devastating Los Angeles] Bart, what can you see, is anyone hurt?
Bart: [In helicopter] I wouldn't be surprised, there is so much damage down there; and there are people down there, taking pictures!

Tommy: [Tornado is in the background] If you look over there behind me, that's a- a tornado! Yes, a twister in Los Angeles. It's one of many tornadoes that are destroying our city! [Points to an F5 in the center of Los Angeles] There's another one! That's the Los Angeles Skyline! It's unbelievable! It's huge! I've never seen anything like it! It- it- it looks like some sort of huge, horrific, terrifying nightmare, only this is the real thing, this- [He is killed by a flying billboard]

Janet: Frank, is he always so obsessive?
[Simultaneously]
Jason: Yes
Frank: Yes
[Pause]
Janet: Does he ever lighten up?
[Simultaneously]
Jason: Not really.
Frank: No

Jason: Jack, we got the results.
Jack Hall: Six to eight months? That can't be.
Janet: That time scale isn't in months -- it's in weeks.

Laura: Hey, thanks for bringing us here.
J.D.: I couldn't let you leave New York without seeing the Natural History Museum.
Sam: [Under his breath] Of course not. It's the world's finest collection of stuffed animals.

Terry Rapson: [Over the phone] What I'm about to tell you is supposed to be confidential. Several hours ago, three helicopters went down over Scotland. They crashed because the fuel in their lines froze.
Jack Hall: At what temperature does...
Terry Rapson: [Interrupting] Negative one hundred and fifty degrees Fahrenheit. I mean, we had to look it up!

Jack Hall: Professor, It's time you got out of there.
Terry Rapson: I'm afraid that time has come and gone, my friend.
Jack Hall: [Pause] What can we do?
Terry Rapson: Save as many as you can.

Sam: Excuse me, are there any pay-phones on the upper floors?
Judith: No, no, no. Uh, but there are some on the mezzanine.
Sam: Great. [Walks away]
Judith: Oh, but I-I-I think it's all underwater!

Vice President Becker: Maybe you should stick to science and leave the policy to us.
Tom: Well, we tried that approach. You didn't want to hear about the science when it could have made a difference.

President Blake: What exactly are you proposing, professor?
Jack Hall: [He draws a line from the middle of California across the US to the Virginias] Evacuate everyone south of that line.
President Blake: What about the people in the north?
Jack Hall: I'm afraid it's too late for them. If they go outside, the storm will kill them.

Vice President Becker: I don't accept that abandoning half the country is necessary.
Tom: Maybe if you would have listened to him sooner, it wouldn't be.
Vice President Becker: Oh, bullshit. It's easy for him to suggest this plan; he's safely here in Washington.
Tom: His son is in Manhattan. [Long pause] I just thought you should know that before you start questioning his motives.

[Over a last shot of Scotch]
Simon: Gentlemen. To England.
Terry Rapson: To Mankind.
Dennis: To Manchester United!

Simon: [About his infant son] I just… I just wish I could have seen him grow up, you know?
Terry Rapson: The important thing is that he will grow up
Dennis: [Softly] Amen.

[Brian fixes a radio while the others in the library sleep]
Officer Campbell: Maybe you should have somebody help you with that.
Brian: Sir, I am president of the electronics club, the math club, and the chess club. Now, if there is a bigger nerd in here, please point him out.
[Without opening his eyes, Sam smirks]
Officer Campbell: I'll just leave you alone to work on it.

Judith: Here it is. Oh, this fireplace probably hasn't been used in about a hundred years.
Sam: [He opens the flue, dodging the snow that falls from the chimney.] Ugh, whoa. Alright. [He starts ripping up books and throwing them in the fireplace]
Judith: What are you doing?
Sam: What did you think we were going to burn?
Judith: You can't burn books!
Jeremy: NO! Absolutely not!
Sam: You wanna freeze to death?

J.D.: We're not going to last very long on M&M's and potato chips.
Luther: How 'bout the garbage can? [Judith looks at him, shocked] There's always something to eat in the garbage.

Jeremy: Friedrich Nietzsche? We cannot burn Friedrich Nietzsche! He was the most important thinker of the 19th century!
Elsa: Oh, please! Nietzsche was a chauvinist pig who was in love with his sister.
Jeremy: He was not a chauvinist pig!
Elsa: But he was in love with his sister.
Brian: Uh, excuse me, you guys? Yeah. There's a whole section on tax law down here that we can burn.

Laura: I've got one. Your favorite vacation?
Sam: Besides this one?

Elsa: What have you got there?
Jeremy: A Gutenberg Bible. It was in the rare books room.
Elsa: You think God's gonna save you?
Jeremy: No, I don't believe in God.
Elsa: You're holding onto that bible pretty tight.
Jeremy: I'm protecting it. [Glares at Sam] This Bible is the first book ever printed. It represents the dawn of the Age of Reason. As far as I'm concerned, the written word is mankind's greatest achievement. You can laugh. But if Western civilization is finished, I'm gonna save at least one little piece of it.

Laura: Everything I've ever cared about, everything I've worked for, has all been preparation for a future that no longer exists. I know you always thought I took the competition too seriously. You were right. It was all for nothing.
Sam: No. No, I just said that to avoid admitting the truth.
Laura: The truth about what?
Sam: About why I joined the team. I joined it because of you.

Jason Evans: What do you think is gonna happen to us?
Jack Hall: What do you mean?
Jason Evans: I mean us? Civilization? Everybody?
Jack Hall: Mankind survived the last Ice Age. We're certainly capable of surviving this one. All it depends on is whether or not we're able to learn from our mistakes.

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