Crash quotes

View Quote Anthony: No, no, no, take that voodoo-ass thing off of there right now!
Peter: I know you just didn't call St. Christopher voodoo. Man's the patron saint of travelers, dog.
Anthony: You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell do you do that?
Peter: Look at the way your crazy ass drives, then ask me that again!

View Quote Anthony: You have no idea why they put those great big windows on the sides of busses, do you?
Peter: Why?
Anthony: One reason only. To humiliate the people of color who are reduced to riding on 'em.

View Quote Anthony: You could fill the Staples Center with what you don't know.
Peter: The Kings are playing tonight.
Anthony: You don't like hockey! You just say you do to piss me off!
Peter: ]dejected] I love hockey!

View Quote Lara: I heard a bang.
Daniel: What, like a truck bang?
Lara: Like a gun.
. . .
Lara: How far can bullets go?
Daniel: They go pretty far except usually they get stuck in something and they stop.
Lara: What if they don't?
Daniel: Are you thinking about that bullet than went through your window?

View Quote [After driving the man they struck to the hospital, the chop-shop owner wants to destroy the car Anthony and Peter stole]
Lucien: You watch the Discovery Channel?
Anthony: Not a lot.
Peter: Man, they got some good shit on that channel.
Lucien: Every night there is a show with somebody shining a blue light and finding tiny specks of blood splattered on carpets and walls and ceiling fans, bathroom fixtures and special-edition plastic Burger King tray cups. The next thing they show is some stupid redneck in handcuffs who looks absolutely stunned that this is happening to him. Sometimes the redneck is actually WATCHING the Discovery Channel when they break in to arrest him. And he still can't figure out how on earth they could've caught him! :[pauses] Do I look like I wanna be on the Discovery Channel?
Anthony: No.
Lucien: Then get the **** outta my shop.

View Quote Graham: I swear to you, Mom. I'll find whoever killed him.
Graham's Mother: Oh, I already know who killed him. You did. I told you to find your brother, but you were too busy for us. I'll take care of everything here. You go on now. You have better things to do.

View Quote Come on now. This is America! Time is money.

View Quote [to Anthony] Look at me. You embarrass me. You embarrass yourself.

View Quote I didn't ask for your help, did I?

View Quote I'll protect you, Daddy.

View Quote It's a really good cloak.

View Quote Rick: [After his car is stolen] Why did these guys have to be black? No matter how we spin this thing, I'm either gonna lose the black vote or I'm gonna lose the law and order vote!
Karen: You know, I think you're worrying too much. You have a lot of support in the black community.
Rick: All right. If we can't duck this thing, we're gonna have to neutralize it. What we need is a picture of me pinning a medal on a black man. The firefighter - the one that saved the camp or something - Northridge... what's his name?
Bruce: He's Iraqi.
Rick: What?
Bruce: He's Iraqi. His name is Saddam.
Rick: Great. I'm going to pin a medal on an Iraqi named Saddam. Give yourself a raise!

View Quote Officer Ryan: [talking on the phone] I wanna speak to your supervisor...
Shaniqua: I am my supervisor!
Officer Ryan: All right well, what's your name?
Shaniqua: Shaniqua Johnson.
Officer Ryan: Shaniqua. Big ****ing surprise that is!
Shaniqua: Oh! [hangs up]

View Quote [After Maria takes Jean to the hospital]
Jean: Do you want to hear something funny?
Maria: What's that, Mrs. Jean?
Jean: You're the best friend I've got.

View Quote Lara: [referring to the impenetrable cloak] He doesn't have it!
Elizabeth: [confused] He doesn't have what?