Graham: [on the phone] Mom, I can't talk to you right now, OK? I'm having sex with a white woman. [hangs up] OK, where were we?
Ria: I was white, and you were about to jerk off in the shower.
[Ria gets out of bed]
Graham: Oh, shit. Come on, I would have said you were Mexican but I don't think it would have pissed her off as much.
Ria: Why do you keep everybody a certain distance, huh? What, you start to feel something and panic?
Graham: Come on, Maria. You're just pissed 'cause I answered the phone.
Ria: That's just where I began to get pissed. I mean, really, what kind of man speaks to his mother that way?
Graham: Oh, this is about my mother. What do you know about my mother?
Ria: If I was your father, I'd kick your ****ing ass.
Graham: OK, I was raised badly. Why don't you take your clothes off, get back into bed, and teach me a lesson?
Ria: You want a lesson? I'll give you a lesson. How 'bout a geography lesson? My father's from Puerto Rico. My mother's from El Salvador. Neither of those is Mexico.
Graham: Ah. Well then I guess the big mystery is, who gathered all those remarkably different cultures together and taught them all how to park their cars on their lawns?
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