Collateral quotes

View Quote Vincent: Max, six billion people on the planet, you're getting bent out of shape cause of one fat guy.
Max: Well, who was he?
Vincent: What do you care? Have you ever heard of Rwanda?
Max: Yes, I know Rwanda.
Vincent: Well, tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody's killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eye, Max?
Max: What?
Vincent: Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Greenpeace, or something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit.
Max: Man, I don't know any Rwandans.
Vincent: You don't know the guy in the trunk, either.

View Quote Traffic Cop #2: Hey, is this blood up here on your windshield?
Max: Yeah, uh, yeah. I hit a deer.
Traffic Cop #1: You hit a deer?
Max: Yeah, over on, uh, it was on Slauson.
Traffic Cop #1: A South Central deer?

View Quote Max: [Max is on the radio dispatch with his boss, Lenny] Yeah, Lenny, what's up? It's me.
Lenny: Just got off the phone with the cops. Desk sergeant called to check if you brought the cab in?
Max: Yeah, so?
Lenny: So, aside from I hate talking to cops, they tell me you crashed the goddamn cab?
Max: No, no, I got crashed into. I didn't...
Lenny: Do I care what, where, why? You're paying.
Vincent: [to Max] It was an accident. You're not liable.
Max: It was an accident. I'm not liable.
Lenny: Bullshit. I'm making you liable. It's coming out of your goddamn pocket.
Vincent: [to Max] You tell him to stick this cab up his fat ass.
Max: I can't do that, that's my boss.
Vincent: So?
Max: I need my job.
Vincent: No, you don't.

View Quote Lenny: Still there? I'm talking to you. Max. Max!
Vincent: [over the radio] He's not paying you a damn thing.
Lenny: Who the hell is this?
Vincent: Albert Ricardo, Assistant U.S. Attorney, a passenger in this cab, and I'm reporting you to the D.M.V.
Lenny: Let's not, oh, let's not get excited.
Vincent: Not get excited? How am I supposed to not get excited? Listen, you try to extort a working man. You know goddamn well your collision policy and general liability umbrella will cover the damages. And what are you trying to pull, you sarcastic prick?
Lenny: Look, I was just trying to...
Vincent: Tell it to him. [to Max] Tell him he's an asshole. Go ahead.
Max: [to Lenny] You're an asshole.
Vincent: Tell him he pulls this shit again, you're gonna stick this yellow cab up his fat ass.
Max: [to Lenny] And, and next time you pull any shit, I'm gonna... I'm gonna have to stick this yellow cab up... up your fat ass.

View Quote Vincent: They project onto you their flaws, what they don't like about themselves. I had a father like that.
Max: Mothers are worse.
Vincent: Wouldn't know. My mother died before I remember her.
Max: What about your father?
Vincent: Hated everything I did. Got drunk, beat me up. In and out of foster homes, that kinda thing.
Max: And then?
Vincent: I killed him. I was twelve.
[Pauses, then laughs]
Vincent: I'm kidding. He died of liver disease.
Max: Well, I'm sorry.
Vincent: No, you're not.

View Quote Fanning: [cops are in alley outside Ramon's apartment] Ramon went through that window... splat. Glass here, then tires rolled over it.
Richard Weidner: Maybe he jumped.
Fanning: Sure... he's depressed so he jumps four stories out of a window onto his head. "Wow, that feels better." Picks himself up. "Now I think I'll go on with the rest of my day."

View Quote Pedrosa: What's up? Why do you want to know about our case?
Fanning: Any unusual activity tonight?
Pedrosa: Like what?
Fanning: That relates to a series of murders in Wilshire Central or West Hollywood?
Pedrosa: All quiet on the western front. Various people are asleep. Various people are awake. They come and go in cars, pickups, taxis. Other than that, we watch the air move.

View Quote Max: How long have you been doing this? In case anyone asks?
Vincent: Private sector? Six years.
Max: Uh... you get health benefits? Pension...?
Vincent: No, and no paid vacation. Quit stalling, and get in there.

View Quote Felix: Now you're here. Why?
Max: I lost my stuff. The list.
Felix: I want you to listen to me real well. Special groups put together the list of dedos.
Max: Dedos?
Felix: Fingers, informants. Signal interceptions with voice-recognition software, surveillance. A very expensive counter-intelligence worked up that list. An important list, wouldn't you say? And you lost it?
Max: Yeah, I'm sorry. Sorry.
Felix: Sorry? 'Sorry' does not put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

View Quote Felix: Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Max: No.
Felix: Nor do I. Nor do I, but my children do. They are still small. But do you know who they like even better than Santa Claus? His helper, Pedro el Negro. Black Peter. There's an old Mexican tale that tells of how Santa Claus got so very busy looking out for the good children that he had to hire some help to look out for the bad children. So he hired Pedro. And Santa Claus gave him a list with all the names of all the bad children. And Pedro would come every night to check them out. And the people, the little kids that were misbehaving, that were not saying their prayers, Pedro would leave a little toy donkey on their window. A little burro. And he would come back, and if the children were still misbehaving, Pedro would take them away, and nobody would ever see them again. Now, if I am being Santa Claus, and you are Pedro, how do you think jolly Santa Claus would feel if one day Pedro came into his office and said, "I lost the list." How ****ing furious do you think he will get?

View Quote Felix: What do you think?
Max: I think...
[Max sees one of Felix's bodyguard draw his gun out]
Max: I think you should you should tell that guy behind me to put his gun down.
Felix: What?
Max: I said I think you should tell that guy behind me to put his gun down, before I take it and beat his bitch ass to death with it.

View Quote Max: The fat man, the penthouse guy, the jazz man. That leaves two.
Felix: Can you finish?
Max: In six years, when have I not?

View Quote Fanning: [referring to Max] According to the cab company's dispatch unit, he's been driving that cab for twelve years.
Pedrosa: So what?
Fanning: So you're telling me the guy walks into a phone booth, and shazam, changes into a meat-eater super assassin? What's he do, squeeze them in between fares?

View Quote Max: I'm not taking you to see my mother.
Vincent: Since when was any of this negotiable?

View Quote Vincent: You're alive. I saved you. Do I get any thanks? No. All you can do is clam up. You wanna talk? Tell me to **** off?
Max: **** off.