Clueless quotes

View Quote Josh Lucas: In some parts of the universe, maybe not in Contempo Casuals, but in some parts, it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.
Cher Horowitz: Thank you, Josh. I so need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me that part about Kenny G again?

View Quote I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and like 3 pieces of licorice.

View Quote (to step-brother Josh) So, the flannel shirt deal -- is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?

View Quote Cher Horowitz: [looks at Dionne's hat] Shopping with Dr. Seuss?
Dionne Davenport: [picks up Cher's backpack] Well, at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my backpack.
Cher Horowitz: It's faux!

View Quote I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Hey granola breath, you've got something on your chin.
Josh Lucas: I'm growing a goatee.
Cher Horowitz: Oh, that's good. You don't want to be the last person at the coffee house without chin pubes.

View Quote Mel Horowitz: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C-plus to an A-minus?
Cher Horowitz: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?
Mel Horowitz: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.

View Quote Heather: It's just like Hamlet said: 'To thine own self be true.'
Cher Horowitz: Uh, no, Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: (laughs slightly) I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Chere Horowitz: (mocks laugh) Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.

View Quote Amber Mariens: Miss Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne Davenport: Well, there goes your social life.

View Quote Mel Horowitz: Cher, do you know what time it is?!
Cher Horowitz: Daddy, a watch doesn't exactly go with this outfit.
Mel Horowitz: Where the hell are you?
Cher Horowitz: At a party.
Mel Horowitz: Where? Kuwait?
Cher Horowitz: Is that in the Valley?

View Quote So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much

View Quote (after a shoe knocks out Tai)
Cher Horowitz: If it's a concussion you have to keep her conscious, okay? Ask her a question.
Elton: (to Tai) What's seven times seven?
Cher Horowitz: Stuff she knows!

View Quote Here's where Dionne lives. She's my friend because we both know what it's like to have people be jealous of us.

View Quote So, okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair, ew, and cover it up with a backwards cap and, like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so!

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Would you call me selfish?
Dionne Davenport: No, not to your face.