Mrs. Pea****: Shouldn't we wait for the other guest?
Yvette: I will keep something warm for him.
Miss Scarlet: What did you have in mind, dear?
Col. Mustard: I prefer Kipling myself. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male." Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?
Miss Scarlet: Sure, I'll eat anything.
Wadsworth: I'm merely a humble butler.
Col. Mustard: What exactly do you do?
Wadsworth: I buttle, sir.
Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Professor Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
Wadsworth: So your work has not changed.
Mrs. White: Are you a doctor?
Professor Plum: I am, but I don't practice.
Miss Scarlet: But practice makes perfect. Ha! I think most men need a little practice, don't you Mrs. Pea****?
Wadsworth: The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun.
Miss Scarlet: Oh, come on. You don't think I'm gonna fall for that old trick?
Wadsworth: It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the study, two for the chandelier, two at the lounge door, and one for the singing telegram.
Miss Scarlet: That's not six.
Wadsworth: One plus two plus two plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Un-uh, there was only one shot that got the chandelier, that's one plus two plus ONE plus one.
Wadsworth: Even if you're right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not "one plus TWO plus one plus one."
Miss Scarlet: Okay, fine. One plus two plus one... SHUT UP! The point is, there is one bullet left in this gun and guess who's gonna get it!
Note: FROM ONE OF THREE ALTERNATE ENDINGS
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