Spokesman: Now, there are all kinds of ideas that would be fun to believe in. Mental telepathy, time travel, immortality, even Santa Claus. Now I know it's no fun to go home and say: 'Guess what happened! I was in a shopping center. There was this tremendously bright light and I rushed outside - and it was an airplane.'
Roy: Excuse me, sir. I didn't want to see this.
Spokesman: I sure wish I had. You know, for fifteen years, I've been looking for these damn silly lights in the night sky. I've never found any. I'd like to, because I believe in life elsewhere.
Audience member: Why don't you guys just admit that the Air Force is conducting secret tests in the foothills area?
Spokesman: It would be easy to say yes to that. But I'm not going to mislead you. This is not the case. To tell you the truth, I don't know what you saw.
Roy: You can't fool us by agreeing with us.
Another witness: I saw Bigfoot once. 1951 back in Sequoia National Park. Had a foot on him thirty-seven inches heel to toe. It made a sound I would not want to hear twice in my life.
Spokesman: UFO's do not represent a direct physical threat to our national security. We do not support them, and we encourage you not to.
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