Roy: [checking the paper] Hey, you know what's playing tonight? Pinocchio! You guys have never seen Pinocchio, you're in luck!
Brad: Aw, who wants to see some dumb movie rated 'G' for kids?
Roy: How old are you?
Brad: Eight.
Roy: You wanna be nine?
Brad: Yeah.
Roy: Then you're going to go see Pinocchio tomorrow night.
[Brad makes a disgusted gesture, but shuts up.]
Ronnie: Roy, that is a terrific way to win over your children.
Roy: I'm not serious, I'm just saying that I grew up with Pinocchio, and if kids are still kids, they're going to eat it up!
[Ronnie looks at him in disgust.]
Roy: Okay, I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I'm Wrong Roy, all right?
[Yells at his youngest son, who is demolishing his sister's doll in a crib]
Roy: Toby! You are close to death! Come out here! (Toby does so) Okay, look, I'm gonna give you yor choice, I'm not gonna be biased in any way. Tomorrow night you can either play Goofy Golf, which is a lot of standing in line and shoving and pushing, and probably getting a 'zero,' or you can see Pinocchio, which is a lot of furry animals and magic, and you'll have a wonderful time. Okay? Now let's vote.
Brad & Toby: GOLF!
Ronnie: All right, everybody to bed!
Toby: No way! Dad said we could finish watching The Ten Commandments!
Ronnie: Roy, that movie is four hours long.
Roy: I told them they'd only watch five commandments.
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