Clerks quotes

52 total quotes

Dante Hicks
Jay
Other
Randal Graves
Silent Bob

View Quote Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?
Randal: Annoying customer.
Customer: ****in' dickhead.

View Quote [Olaf sings a different part of "Berserker" to Snowball.]
Olaf: My love for you is ticking clock, berserker. Would you like to suck my ****, berserker.
Willam Black: That's beautiful, man.

View Quote Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

View Quote My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when it was destroyed by the Rebels.

View Quote This job would be great if it wasn't for the ****ing customers.

View Quote I need some tits and ass! Yo, I'm feeling good tonight Silent Bob, we're gonna make some money, you know what we gonna do, we gonna go to that party, get some pussy. I'll **** this bitch, I'll **** this bitch, I'll **** anything that moves!

View Quote And I'm caught in the middle, torn between my loyalty to my boss and my desire to piss with the lights on.

View Quote You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.

View Quote Haven't you ever tried to suck your own dick?

View Quote Bunch of savages in this town.

View Quote [Dante is painting Veronica's fingernails beneath the counter]
Veronica: You think anybody can see us down here?
Dante: Why? Do you wanna have sex or something?
Veronica: (sarcastically enthusiastic) Can we?

View Quote Great, every time I kiss you, I'm gonna taste 36 other guys!

View Quote I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that's what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.

View Quote What's up, baby? What's up, sluts?

View Quote Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as an oral bowel movement.