Randal Graves quotes

This job would be great if it wasn't for the ****ing customers.

Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.

And I'm caught in the middle, torn between my loyalty to my boss and my desire to piss with the lights on.

Oh, and Caitlin. Break his heart again this time, and I'll kill ya. Nothing personal.

Some guy came into the store refusing to pay late fees. Said the store was closed for two hours yesterday. I tore up his membership.

Bunch of savages in this town.

Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as an oral bowel movement.

Salsa Shark. We're gonna need a bigger boat! Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa, shark's in the salsa, our shark.

(To Dante about his constant complaining of the events that transpired during the day) Oh, **** you! **** you, pal! There you go, trying to pass the buck; "I'm the source of all your misery." Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to get back together with his ex-girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one?! You wanna blame somebody? Blame yourself! (mockingly) "I'm not even supposed to be here today." You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push ****ing buttons. Anybody can just waltz in here and do our jobs. You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante, and badly, I might add. I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so ****ing advanced, what are we doing working here?

Haven't you ever tried to suck your own dick?

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