Clerks II

Clerks II quotes

63 total quotes (ID: 819)

Dante Hicks
Randal Graves
Silent Bob

You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hangin' out in front of places sellin' weed 'n shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals 'n shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah...I'd be the first mother****er to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form...and **** it. And people'd be like..."There he goes; homeboy ****ed a Martian once."

Oh! (Just as he hears Goodbye Horses)

That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.

HEY some pickle****er just gave us free eats!

Would you **** me?... I'd **** me... I'd **** me hard...

Did you know Jesus was a Jew?

Hey, hey, the Holy ****ing Bible, son!

[in front of the "Eat Pussy" graffiti] Oh, we totally do.

If you're gonna jump let me have a crack at that pussy first.

[To both Dante and Randal] Jesus, why don't you guys **** and get it over with?

[after teen asks for a nickel bag, singing] "15 bucks, little man. Put that shit in my hand!"

[to Jay in prison] You know what man, that hurts- what the **** do you ever add to the proceedings? You have like the same answer for everything, "pussy!"

[In deleted scene to Jay] I just think you're a gay man in denial!

What's sexier than an elf princess's sword?

At Bible Camp we made a flow chart. Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal!