(Singing) The folks on top the ladder, are the ones the world adores, so boost me up my ladder kid, and I'll boost you up yours!

(Singing) Who says that murder's not an art?

(Singing) You can like the life you're living, you can live the life you like, you can even marry Harry, and mess around with Ike!

And then I started foolin' around... and then I started screwin' around, which is foolin' around without dinner.

As you know I'm here to take care of you. Now if anything hurts you, or upsets you in any way... don't run your fat ass mouth off to me cause I don't give a shit. Now move out.

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but if Jesus Christ lived in Chicago today, and he had come to me and he had five thousand dollars, let's just say things would have turned out differently.

I just can't take it anymore! You can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb tomato. (Mama sits up with her hair dyed like Roxie's) Oh, no, Mama, not you too.

I was born on a beautiful Southern convent... oh, holy shit, I'm never gonna get this straight.

In this town, murder's a form of entertainment.

It's all a circus, kid. A three ring circus. These trials - the whole world - all showbusiness. But kid, you're working with a star - the biggest!

Look, honey, you want some advice? Well, here it is, direct from me to you. Keep your paws off my underwear, 'kay?

My audience loves me. And I love them. And they love me for lovin' them and I love them for lovin' me. And we love each other. And that's cause none of us got enough love in our childhoods. And that's showbiz, kid.

My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act, we did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, backflips, flip-flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show, we're down at the Hotel Cicero. The three of us boozin' , having a few laughs. And we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some. I come back...open the door...and there's Veronica and Charlie, doing number seventeen: the Spread Eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock; I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead!

Sometimes you get a little success, and it's good riddance to who put you there.

They'd love you a lot more if you were hanged. You know why? Because it would sell more papers. That's Chicago.