Matron 'Mama' Morton quotes

As you know I'm here to take care of you. Now if anything hurts you, or upsets you in any way... don't run your fat ass mouth off to me cause I don't give a shit. Now move out.

(Singing) The folks on top the ladder, are the ones the world adores, so boost me up my ladder kid, and I'll boost you up yours!

(Singing) Let's all stroke together, like the Princeton crew. When you're strokin' Mama, Mama's strokin' you!

Sometimes you get a little success, and it's good riddance to who put you there.

(Singing) Ask any of the chickies in my pen, they'll tell you I'm the biggest mother... hen.

(having been asked what the cost of a phonecall is) Come on, Vel, you know how I feel about you. You're like family to me, one of my own. ... I'll do it for fifty.

In this town, murder's a form of entertainment.

Roxie: But he was trying to burgle me!
Harrison: From what I hear, he's been 'burgling' you three times a week for the past month.
Roxie: Yeah, I killed him! And I'd kill him again!
Harrison: Once was enough, dearie. Take her downtown!
Mama: You'll be staying in E Block. Murdereress' Row, we like to call it.
Roxie: Oh... is that nicer?
Roxie: Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
Mama: You're talking to the wrong people.
Roxie: God, that's beautiful!
Billy: Cut out God; stay where you're better accquainted.
Ms.Sunshine: Are you sorry?
Roxie: Are you kidding?
Reporter: Would you like to give us a word or two?
Kitty: I'll give you three - GO TO HELL! (She kicks him in the groin)
Billy: (Roxie has claimed to be pregnant and has been examined) Well, is she or isn't she?
Doctor: (flustered) She is.
Billy: I see. And would you swear to that in court?
Doctor: Yes.
Billy: Good. Button your fly.
Amos: Laugh, why would they laugh?
Billy: 'Cause they can count. Can you count?
Billy: Objection!
Judge: Sustained.
Harrison: Your Honor, I haven't asked a question yet!
Baliff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Velma: And then some.
Billy: I object! My client has never held a diary! And even if she did, this would be... invasion of privacy, and violation of the fourth amendment, and,and, and... and illegal search without a warrant!
Roxie: (outraged) Yeah! And she broke the lock!
Billy: Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Assistant D.A. Harrison to drop all charges against you in exchange for your testimony?
Velma: Why, sure. I'm not a complete idiot.
Roxie: It'll never work.
Velma: Why not?
Roxie: Because I hate you.
Velma: There's only one business where that's no problem at all.
Velma: Me and Roxie would just like to say thank you!
Roxie: Thank you! Believe us, we could never have done it without you!

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