Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory quotes

97 total quotes (ID: 116)

Augustus Gloop
Charlie Bucket
Dr. Wilbur Wonka
Grandma Georgina
Grandpa George
Grandpa Joe
Mike Teavee
Mr. Salt
Mrs. Beauregarde
Mrs. Gloop
Veruca Salt
Violet Beauregarde
Willy Wonka


Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels, I want one!
Mr. Salt: Veruca dear, you have many marvelous pets.
Veruca Salt: All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!
Mr. Salt: All right, pet. Daddy will get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can.
Veruca Salt: But I don't want any old squirrel! I want a trained squirrel!
Mr. Salt: [wearily] Very well. Mr. Wonka, how much do you want for one of those squirrels. Name your price.
[Veruca smiles]
Willy Wonka: Oh they're not for sale. She can't have one.
Veruca Salt: [her smile drops to an angry expression] Daddy!
Willy Wonka: [imitating Mr. Salt] I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.
Veruca Salt: If you won't get me a squirrel, I'll get one myself!


[After the puppet show opening bursts into flames]
Willy Wonka: [clapping] Ha ha ha, wasn't that just magnificent? I thought it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but that finale...Wow!
Violet Baeuregarde: Who are you?
Grandpa Joe: He's Willy Wonka!
Charlie Bucket: Really!
Willy Wonka: Good morning starshine, the Earth says hello! [takes out flash cards] Greetings. Welcome to my factory. I shake you warmly by the hand. My name is Willy Wonka.
Veruca Salt: Then shouldn't you be up there? [points to stage]
Willy Wonka: Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now, could I, little girl?
Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory.
Willy Wonka: Were you one of those despicable spies who everyday tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copy-cat candy-making cads?
Grandpa Joe: No, sir.
Willy Wonka: Wonderful, welcome back. Lets get a move on, shall we?
Augustus Gloop: Don't you want to know our names?
Willy Wonka: Couldn't see how it wouldn't matter.

Willy Wonka: Here, try some of this. It'll do you good. You look starved to death.
Charlie Bucket: [Drinks some of the chocolate] It's great.
Willy Wonka: That's because it's mixed by waterfall. The waterfall is most important. It mixes the chocolate. Makes it light and frothy. By the way, no other factory in the world mixes-
Veruca Salt: [interrupts] You already said that.
Willy Wonka: You're all quite short, aren't you?
Violet Beauregarde: Well, yeah. We're children.
Willy Wonka: Well, that's no excuse. I was never as short as you.
Mike Teavee: You were once.
Willy Wonka: Was not! Know why? Because I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head. Look at your short little arms. You could never reach.

It's in the fridge, Daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could-- slide me some skin, Soul Brother. ~ To Mike Teavee when showing the children Hair Toffee

Mike Teavee: Why is everything here completely pointless?
Charlie Bucket: Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.
Mike Teavee: It's stupid! [Dr. Wilbur Wonka voice-over] "Candy is a waste of time!"
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: No son of mine is going to be a chocolatier!
Little Willy Wonka: Then I'll run away! To Switzerland, Bavaria! The candy capitals of the world!
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: Go ahead. But I won't be here when you come back!

I'm eating the Wonka bar, and I taste something that is not chocolate, or coconut, or walnut, or peanut butter, or nougat, or butter brittle, or caramel, or sprinkles. So I look, and I find the Golden Ticket! [while being interviewed]

Dr. Wilbur Wonka: I haven't seen bicuspids like these since... since... Willy?
Willy Wonka: Hi Dad.
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: All these years... and you haven't flossed.
Willy Wonka: Not once.

Mr. Teavee: Is it just me, or does Mr. Wonka seem a few quarters short of a buck?
Mr. Salt: I'm sorry, I don't speak American.

Grandma Georgina: You smell like peanuts. I love peanuts.
Willy Wonka: Thank you. You smell like... old people... and soap... I like it.

Violet Beauregarde: [hugs Wonka] Mr. Wonka. I'm Violet Beauregarde.
Willy Wonka: [freaks out] Oh... I don't care.
Violet Beauregarde: Well, you should care. Because I'm the girl that's going to win the special prize at the end.
Willy Wonka: Well, you do seem confident and confidence is key.
Veruca Salt: I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir. [does a curtsy]
Willy Wonka: I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Haha.
Augustus Gloop: [eating a candy bar] I'm Augustus Gloop. I love your chocolate.
Willy Wonka: I can see that. So do I. I never expected to have so much in common. [to Mike] You, you're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who cracked the system. [to Charlie] And you, well you're just lucky to be here, aren't you? [to their parents] And you must be their...p- p...
Mr. Salt: Parents?
Willy Wonka: Yeah! Moms and dads.

Willy Wonka: Oh thank Heaven, he's completly unharmed.
Mr. Teavee: Unharmed!? What are you talking about!?
Mike Teavee: Just put me back in the other way!
Willy Wonka: There is no other way, it's teleVISION not telePHONE, there's quite a difference.
Mr. Teavee: Then what exactly do you propose to do about it?
Willy Wonka: I don't know, but young men are extremely springy, they stretch like mad... [gasps] Let's go put him in the taffy puller!
Mr. Teavee: [horrified] Taffy puller!?
Willy Wonka: Hey! That was my idea! Boy, is he gonna be skinny.

Charlie Bucket: [about the chocolate factory] But it didn't close forever, it's open right now.
Mrs. Bucket: Ah yes, well, sometimes when grown-ups say "forever" they mean "a very long time".
Grandpa George: Besides, I feel as though I've eaten nothing but cabbage soup forever.
Mr. Bucket: Now pops...
Charlie Bucket: There must be people working there.
Grandma Josephine: Think about it, Charlie. Have you ever seen a single person going into that factory? Or coming out of it?
Charlie Bucket: No. The gates are always closed.
Grandpa Joe: Exactly.
Charlie Bucket: But then, who's running the machines?
Mrs. Bucket: Nobody knows, Charlie.
Mr. Bucket: It certainly is a mystery.
Charlie Bucket: Hasn't someone asked Mr. Wonka?
Grandpa Joe: Nobody sees him anymore. He never comes out. The only thing that comes out of that place is the candy. Already packed and addressed. I'd give anything in the world just to go in one more time and see that what's become of that amazing factory.

Mike Teavee: All you had to do was check the manufacturing dates, offset by weather and separate by the Nekei index. A retard could figure it out.
Mr. Teavee: Most of the time, I don't know what he's talking about. Kids today with all the technology...
Mike Teavee: [To his video game] DIE!! DIE!! DIE!!!!
Mr. Teavee: ... It doesn't seem like they stay kids very long.

Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, why would Augustus' name already be in the Oompa-Loompa song unless they...
Willy Wonka: [interrupts] Improvisation is a parlor trick, anyone can do it. [turns to Violet] You, little girl, Say something. Anything.
Violet Beauregarde: Chewing gum.
Willy Wonka: Chewing gum is really gross / chewing gum I hate the most. See? Exactly the same.
Mike Teavee: No, it isn't.
Willy Wonka: Uh, you really shouldn't mumble because I can't understand a word you're saying.

Willy Wonka: [Getting his shoes shined by Charlie, with a paper in his face] Pity about that chocolate maker-- Wedle... um... Walter...
Charlie Bucket: Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka: That's the one. Says here that his candies aren't selling very well. But I suppose he's just a rotten egg who deserves it.
Charlie Bucket: Yep.
Willy Wonka': Oh, really. Ever met him?
Charlie Bucket: I did once. I thought he was great at first. But then he didn't turn out so nice. He also has a funny haircut.
Willy Wonka: [Throws his paper down] I do not!
Charlie Bucket: Why are you here?
Willy Wonka: I don't feel so hot. What makes you feel better when you feel terrible?
Charlie Bucket: My family. What have you got against my family?
Willy Wonka: It's not just your family, it's the whole idea of... [balks] You know they're always telling you what to do, what not to do. It's not condusive to a creative atmosphere.
Charlie Bucket: Usually, they're just trying to protect you, because they love you. If you don't believe me, you should ask.
Willy Wonka: Ask who? My father? Ha! No way. At least, not by myself...
Charlie Bucket: Do you want me to go with you?
Willy Wonka: Hey! Hey what a great idea! Yeah! [jumps up] And you know what? I brought a transporta-- [bangs into the glass elevator] I have to watch where I park this thing.