Crash Davis quotes

You just got lesson number one: don't think; it can only hurt the ball club.

I believe in the soul, the ****, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. Win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it only means you are a slob.

Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.

The rose goes in the front, big guy.

Having a conversation with you is like a Martian talking to a Fungo.

I'm the player to be named later.

Never **** with a winning streak.

I give you a gift, you're gonna stand here and show up my pitcher? Run, dummy!

  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the