Bruce Almighty quotes

47 total quotes

Bruce
Homeless Man Signs
Multiple Characters

View Quote Fine! The gloves are off pal! C'mon, lemme see a little wrath! Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is You! ANSWER ME!!!

View Quote That is perfect! That is the motivation that I needed! Right there! Thank you. Thank you, WKBW! Wimpy Kiddy Baby Whiners! THAT'S WHAT THAT STANDS FOR! I'll see you on Channel 5, where they do the real news.

View Quote Jack: You don't want to be like Evan. Evan's an asshole.

View Quote News Reporter: In international news, Japanese relief workers are staging a desperate effort to rescue hundreds of people stranded by a freak tidal wave that hit Kitamoto City. Scientists say the tsunami may have been caused by what they're describing as unusual lunar activity. More on this as it develops.

View Quote ALL FOR WON

View Quote Bruce: Bedroom?
Grace: Five minutes.

View Quote God: (commenting on why he gave Bruce seven fingers) I did the same thing to Gandhi. He didn't eat for three weeks.
Bruce: Holy sh... cow.

View Quote Bruce: Whoa! Hold the phone! I like this one. Our weekend at the lake.
Grace: How'd you get that? That's supposed to be in our private stash.
Bruce: You look perky, hon. It must've been cold.
Grace: All right, fine! Do with it what you will, I don't care!
Bruce: I will do with it what I will. You know, I might even send this into Playboy!

View Quote You can't leave me! I'm the Alpha, lady! I'M THE OMEGA, BABY! Okay, fine, I don't need you!

View Quote First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber... Pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me.

View Quote God: It's good.
Bruce: It's good.
Both: s'goood!

View Quote God: It's really something, isn't it?
Bruce: Is this Heaven?
God: No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all.
Bruce: (incredulous) I'm DEAD?!
God: Nah, I'm just messin' with ya. (laughs)

View Quote God: In a way, I'm here to offer you a job.
Bruce: Job? What job?
God: My job. When you leave this building, you will be endowed with all of my powers.
Bruce: Whatever you say, pal.

View Quote [A disguised God has been showing Bruce signs all day; his latest one reads "LIFE IS JUST"] Just? Just get a clue!

View Quote B-E-A-utiful.