Bruce Almighty

Bruce Almighty quotes

47 total quotes (ID: 104)

Bruce
Homeless Man Signs
Multiple Characters


News Reporter: In international news, Japanese relief workers are staging a desperate effort to rescue hundreds of people stranded by a freak tidal wave that hit Kitamoto City. Scientists say the tsunami may have been caused by what they're describing as unusual lunar activity. More on this as it develops.


Evan: (in high-pitched voice) A potential scandal with the Buffalo P.D. surfaced today when the mayor demanded that... When the mayor demanded that the chief... When the mayor demanded that the chief... As a response to allegations... I'm sorry. I seem to have something stuck in my...
Director: Somebody get him some water, please.
Susan: Looks like my new co-anchor might need a glass of water. (Evan laughs in high-pitched voice)

LOOK TO YOURSELF

LIFE IS JUST

God: (commenting on why he gave Bruce seven fingers) I did the same thing to Gandhi. He didn't eat for three weeks.
Bruce: Holy sh... cow.

THY KINGDUMB COME

ALL FOR WON

God: It's good.
Bruce: It's good.
Both: s'goood!

God: In a way, I'm here to offer you a job.
Bruce: Job? What job?
God: My job. When you leave this building, you will be endowed with all of my powers.
Bruce: Whatever you say, pal.

God: It's really something, isn't it?
Bruce: Is this Heaven?
God: No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all.
Bruce: (incredulous) I'm DEAD?!
God: Nah, I'm just messin' with ya. (laughs)

You can't leave me! I'm the Alpha, lady! I'M THE OMEGA, BABY! Okay, fine, I don't need you!

[A disguised God has been showing Bruce signs all day; his latest one reads "LIFE IS JUST"] Just? Just get a clue!

Fine! The gloves are off pal! C'mon, lemme see a little wrath! Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is You! ANSWER ME!!!

First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber... Pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me.

B-E-A-utiful.