Bruce Almighty quotes

47 total quotes

Bruce
Homeless Man Signs
Multiple Characters

View Quote Evan: (spouts angry gibberish) Doo-doo ca-ca poo-poo! (more angry gibberish) PEE-PEE! (laughs embarrased)

View Quote LOOK TO YOURSELF

View Quote Bruce: Look, would it help if I just said that I was a complete ass?
Day Care Kid: Hey, you said 'ass.'
Bruce: Yeah, but it's okay if I'm talking about a donkey.

View Quote Bruce: And the cookie is... ten feet, four inches! We have a new record! Cue the cheesy inspirational music! [theme from Chariots of Fire plays]
Bruce: And that's the way the cookie crumbles!

View Quote Bruce: (with his own sign) WHATEVER HE SAID â†’

View Quote (sampling wine at he and Grace's date) It's perfect. She'll love it.

View Quote Bruce: Where ya goin'?
God: I'm... taking a vacation.
Bruce: Wait, God doesn't take vacations! Does he? Do... ye?
God: Ever heard of the Dark Ages? Besides, I'm covered. You can fix up everything in five minutes if you wanted to. Right? Ciao.

View Quote GOD BEE GOOD HONEY

View Quote Bruce: (commenting about his actions) I was such an idiot.
Grace: It's okay.

View Quote Computer: Yahweh! You've got prayers.

View Quote Okay, You win. I'm done. Please, I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna be God! I want You to decide what's right for me! I SURRENDER TO YOUR WILL!

View Quote Evan: (in high-pitched voice) A potential scandal with the Buffalo P.D. surfaced today when the mayor demanded that... When the mayor demanded that the chief... When the mayor demanded that the chief... As a response to allegations... I'm sorry. I seem to have something stuck in my...
Director: Somebody get him some water, please.
Susan: Looks like my new co-anchor might need a glass of water. (Evan laughs in high-pitched voice)

View Quote LIFE IS JUST

View Quote THY KINGDUMB COME

View Quote Ally: They want you close to the falls.
Bruce: Really? I'm gonna get soaked.
Ally: That's the point.