Allison: I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
Claire: You're lying.
Allison: I already have. I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.
Claire: Lie.
Brian: Are your parents aware of this?
Allison: The only person I told was my shrink.
Andrew: And what'd he do when you told him?
Allison: He nailed me.
Claire: Very nice.
Allison: I don't think it can be construed as rape since I paid him.
Claire: He's an adult!
Allison: Yeah. He's married, too.
Claire: Ugh, do you have any idea how completely gross that is?
Allison: Well, the first few times--
Claire: The first few times?! You mean, you've done it more than once?! Are you crazy?!
Brian: Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink.
Allison: Have you ever done it?
Claire: I don't even have a psychiatrist.
Allison: Have you ever done it with a normal person?
Claire: Didn't we already cover this?
Bender: You never answered the question.
Claire: Look, I'm not gonna discuss my private life with total strangers.
Allison: It's kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it?
Claire: A what?
Allison: Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut! It's a trap. You want to but you can't but when you do you wish you didn't, right?
Claire: Wrong.
Allison: ...Or, are you a tease?
Andrew: She's a tease.
Claire: Why don't you just drop it?
Andrew: You're a tease and you know it, all girls are teases!
Bender: She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot.
Claire: I don't do anything!
Allison: That's why you're a tease.
Claire: Okay, lemme ask you a few questions.
Allison: I've already told you everything!
Claire: No, doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love? I mean don't you want any respect?
Allison: I don't screw to get respect; that's the difference between you and me.
Claire: Not the only difference, I hope.
Bender: Face it, you're a tease.
Claire: I'm not a tease!
Bender: Sure you are! Sex is a weapon! You said it yourself; you use it to get respect!
Claire: No, I never said that. She twisted my words around.
Bender: Oh, then what do you use it for?
Claire: I don't use it period!
Bender: Oh, are you medically frigid or is it psychological?
Claire: I didn't mean it that way! You guys are putting words into my mouth!
Bender: Well if you'd just answer the question...
Brian: Why don't you just answer the question?
Andrew: Be honest...
Bender: No big deal...
Brian: Yeah, answer it!
Andrew: Answer the question, Claire!
Bender: Talk to us!
Andrew and Brian: Come on, answer the question!
Bender: It's easy, it's only one question!
Claire: No! I never did it!
Allison: I never did it either, I'm not a nymphomaniac...I'm a compulsive liar.
Copy quote link to Clipboard
  »   More Quotes from
  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the