Vernon: [to Bender] Give me that screw.
Bender: I don't have it.
Vernon: You want me to yank you outta that seat and shake it out of you?
Bender: I don't have it. Screws fall out all of the time, the world's an imperfect place.
Bender: Give it to me, Bender.
Claire: Excuse me, sir, why would anybody want to steal a screw?
Vernon: Watch it, young lady.
[Vernon tries to hold the door open by putting a folding chair in front of it.]
Bender: The door's way too heavy, sir.
[The door slams shut despite the chair.]
Vernon: Dammit!
[Vernon comes back in.]
Vernon: Andrew Clark! Get up here. Come on, front and center, let's go.
[Andrew gets up and walks over to Vernon]
Bender: Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!
[Vernon and Andrew are now attempting to move the steel magazine rack in front of the door.]
Vernon: Okay, now, watch the magazines!
Bender: It's out of my hands. [Andrew tries to get back into the Library, but has difficulty getting over the rack.] That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir.
Vernon: All right, what are you doing with this? Get this outta here for God's sake! What's the matter with you? Come on!
Brian: You know the school comes equipped with fire exits at either end of the library.
Bender: Show Dick some respect!
Vernon: Let's go. Go, get back into your seat. I expected a little more from a varsity letterman. [to Bender] You're not fooling anybody, Bender. The next screw that falls out is gonna be you.
Bender: (mumbling) Eat my shorts.
Vernon: What was that?
Bender: Eat...my...shorts!
Vernon: You just bought yourself another Saturday, mister!
Bender: (scoffs) I'm crushed.
Vernon: You just bought one more right there!
Bender: Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my calendar!
Vernon: Good! 'Cause it's gonna be filled! We'll keep goin'! You want another one? Say the word, just say the word! Instead of going to prison, you'll come here! Are you through?
Bender: No!
Vernon: I'm doing society a favor!
Bender: So?
Vernon: That's another one, right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?
Bender: Yes!
Vernon: You got it! You got another one, right there! That's another one pal!
Claire: Cut it out! (mouthing) Stop!
Vernon: You through?
Bender: Not even close, bud!
Vernon: Good! You got one more, right there!
Bender: Do you really think I give a shit?
Vernon: Another. [Vernon and John stare angrily at each other.] You through?
Bender: How many is that?
Brian: That's seven, including the one when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon here whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet.
Vernon: Now it's eight. [to Brian] You stay out of it!
Brian: Excuse me, sir, it's seven.
Vernon: Shut up, Peewee! You're mine Bender...for two months I gotcha! I gotcha!
Bender: What can I say? I'm thrilled!
Vernon: Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe. You know something, Bender? You ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself and a little less time trying to impress people. You might be better off. All right, that's it! I'm going to be right outside those doors. The next time I hafta come in here, I'm cracking skulls!
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