Multiple Characters quotes

Guard: Don't fight it son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating.

Mr. Warrenn: There you are, your own number on your very own door. And behind that door, your very own office! Welcome to the team, DZ-015.

Mr. Warrenn: What is this mess? An empty desk is an efficient desk.

Arresting Officer: This is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt.

Bill, Department of Works: Mistakes? We don't make mistakes.

Charlie, Department of Works: Bloody typical, they've gone back to metric without telling us.

Kurtzmann: It's been confusion from the word go!

Mrs. Buttle: What have you done with his body?

Jack Lint: We've always been close Havn't we? Well, until this whole thing blows over, just stay away from me.

Jack Lint: It's not my fault that Buttle's heart condition didn't appear on Tuttle's file!

Jack Lint: This is information retrieval not information dispersal.

Dr. Lewis Jaffe: Just me and my little knife! Snip snip - slice slice... can you believe it?

Dr. Lewis Jaffe: Faces are a doddle compared to tits and ass. No hairline.

Spoor: Where'd you get this from, eh? Out yer nostril?

Spoor: All you've got to do is blow your nose and it's fixed, in't it?

Lime: Computers are my forte!

Holly: Put it on, big boy. I won't look at your willy.

Mrs. Terrain: There's been a little complication with my complication

Singers: [TV commercial jingle] Central Services: We do the work, you do the pleasure.
TV commercial pitchman: Hi, there. I want to talk to you about ducts.

Sam Lowry: I only know you got the wrong man.
Jack Lint: Information Transit got the wrong man. I got the *right* man. The wrong one was delivered to me as the right man, I accepted him on good faith as the right man. Was I wrong?

Sam Lowry: Excuse me, Dawson, can you put me through to Mr. Helpmann's office?
Dawson: I'm afraid I can't sir. You have to go through the proper channels.
Sam Lowry: And you can't tell me what the proper channels are, because that's classified information?
Dawson: I'm glad to see the Ministry's continuing its tradition of recruiting the brightest and best, sir.
Sam Lowry: Thank you, Dawson.

T.V. Interviewer: How do you account for the fact that the bombing campaign has been going on for thirteen years?
Mr. Helpmann: Beginners' luck.

Sam Lowry: How are the twins?
Jack Lint: Triplets.
Sam Lowry: My, how time flies!

Harry Tuttle: Bloody paperwork. Huh!
Sam Lowry: I suppose one has to expect a certain amount.
Harry Tuttle: Why? I came into this game for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there's trouble, a man alone. Now they got the whole country sectioned off, you can't make a move without a form.

Sam Lowry: My name's Lowry. Sam Lowry. I've been told to report to Mr. Warrenn.
Porter - Information Retrieval: Thirtieth floor, sir. You're expected.
Sam Lowry: Um... don't you want to search me?
Porter - Information Retrieval: No sir.
Sam Lowry: Do you want to see my ID?
Porter - Information Retrieval: No need, sir.
Sam Lowry: But I could be anybody.
Porter - Information Retrieval: No you couldn't sir. This is Information Retrieval.

Sam Lowry: It's not the machine. There's a mismatch on the personnel code numbers... Tuttle should have had £31.06, debited against his account, not Buttle!
Kurtzman: [horrified] Oh my God, a mistake!
Sam Lowry: Well at least it's not ours.
Kurtzman: [eagerly] Isn't it? Whose is it?
Sam Lowry: Information Retrieval.
Kurtzman: [smiling] Oh, good!

Sam Lowry: Are you alright?
Jill Layton: Yeah.
Sam Lowry: Well, you don't deserve to be!

Sam Lowry: Is that one of your triplets?
Jack Lint: Yeah, probably.

Santa Claus: What would you like for Christmas?
Little girl: [on his lap] My own credit card.

Jill Layton: Get out of my cab.
Sam Lowry: What? Just drive!
Jill Layton: You touched me, nobody touches me.

Jill Layton: Say, all wars have innocent victims.
Sam Lowry: Well, all wars do -
Jill Layton: Who is this war against, Sam?
Sam Lowry: Well, terrorists of course.
Jill Layton: How many terrorists have you met? Actual terrorists?
Sam Lowry: Actual... terrorists? Well ... it's only my first day.

Sam Lowry: You don't exist anymore. I've killed you. Jill Layton is dead.
[(Shows picture of Jill Layton's file with the words "DELETE" on it]
Jill Layton: [smiles] Care for a little necrophilia?

Sam Lowry: Better still, send it to Buttle, after all it's his cheque.
Kurtzmann: I've tried that. Look at this/ [shows Sam a file] You see? The population census has got him down as dormanted. The Central Collective Storehouse computer has got him down as deleted...
Sam Lowry: Hang on. [goes to computer terminal and begins typing]
Kurtzman: ...Information Retrieval has got him down as inoperative. And there's another one - Security has got him down as excised. Administration's got him down as completed...
Sam Lowry: He's dead.
Kurtzman: L... [pause] Dead? Well, that's awful!
[Kurtzman sits down and looks at refund cheque]
Kurtzman: [desperately] We'll never get rid of the damn thing now! What are we going to do Sam?

Mr. Helpmann: He's got away from us, Jack.
Jack Lint: 'Fraid you're right, Mr. Helpmann. He's gone.

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