Seth: (Phone rings) Hello?
Ron from the Daily News: Hi, Mr. Dahvis, this is Ron from the Daily News. How you doin' this morning?
Seth: It's Davis, and I'm not interested.
Ron: Okay, I'm sorry to have bothered you. Have a nice day.
Seth: Wait a minute. Wait, that's your pitch? You consider that a sales call?
Ron: Well, um...
Seth: You know, I get a call from you guys every Saturday and it's always the same half assed attempt. If you guys wanna close me, you should sell me.
Ron: All right.
Seth: All right. Start again.
Ron: Okay. Hi, this is Ron from the Daily News. How you doin' this morning?
Seth: Shitty. What do you want?
Ron: It's not what I want, sir. It's what you want.
Seth: Ron, now we're talkin'. All right. What are you selling me?
Ron: I'm offering you a subscription to the Daily News at a substantially reduced price. We're trying to reach out to people that have never had home delivery before.
Seth: Right, so, basically, everybody who already has a subscription is getting ****ed on this one?
Ron: Yeah, I guess so.
Seth: All right, well, I can handle that. So, tell me, why should I buy your paper? I mean, you know, why... Why shouldn't I get the Times or the Voice, you know?
Ron: Well, the Village Voice is free, sir, so if you want it, you should certainly pick it up. But the Daily News offers you something no other paper can: a real taste of New York. We have the best features, more photographs than any other daily in New York and we have the most reliable delivery in the city. Now what do you think?
Seth: You know what I think, Ron? I think that was a sales call. Good job, buddy.
Ron: So you gonna buy a subscription?
Seth: No, I already get the Times.
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