Blazing Saddles

Blazing Saddles quotes

64 total quotes (ID: 84)

Bart
Hedley Lamarr
Jim, The Waco Kid
Lyle
Multiple Characters
Taggart


You will merely be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.


[Last words - at the footprints of Douglas Fairbanks] How did he do such terrific stunts... with such little feet?!

I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!

Horses! We can't afford to lose no horses you dummy! Send a couple-a niggers.

Don't just lie around getting a suntan. Ain't gonna do you no good no how!

An uppity nigger went and hit me on the head with a shovel.

Gaw-lee, Mr. Lamarr: you use your tongue purdier than a $20 whore!

(when confronted with a toll booth) ... "Le Petomane Through Way"? Now what'll that asshole think of next? Has anybody got a dime? (cowboys grumble) Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!

Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree!...Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen!

(after worker faints from the heat) Dock that chink a day's pay for nappin' on the job.

Mexican Outlaw: Badges? We don't need no stinkin badges!

Lily: Ooh, a wed wose. How...womantic.

Reverend: Oh Lord, can we complete this mighty task in one night, or we all just jerking off?
Everyone Else: AMEN.
Lyle: (after Lyle and a bunch of other guys farted for 3 minutes) How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart?
Taggart: I'd say you've had enough.

Charlie: Bart?
Bart: What?
Charlie: Am I wrong, or is the world...rising?
Bart: I don't know, but whatever it is, I hate it!

[The people are about to shoot Bart at his opening speech - until he takes himself hostage]
Bart (gruff voice, hauling himself by the collar): Hold it! The next man that makes a move, the nigger gets it.
Dr. Johnson: Hold it men--he's not bluffing! (all but one man drop their guns)
Dr. Samuel Johnson:Listen to him men, he's just crazy enough to do it!
Bart (gruff, to the one with a gun still): Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this nigger's head ALL OVER THIS TOWN!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he's desp'at! Do what he say, do what he saaaayyyy... do what he saaaayyyy...(the man slowly drops the gun)
Harriet Johnson: Isn't anyone going to help that poor man? [Bart is slowly moving towards the sheriff's office, still holding himself hostage]
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Oh he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! Somebbody He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! (gruff voice) Shut up! [He covers his mouth and pushes his way inside the office] (normal voice, to himself) Oh, baby, you are so talented. And they are so dumb!