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Blazing Saddles

Blazing Saddles quotes

63 total quotes

Bart
Hedley Lamarr
Jim, The Waco Kid
Lyle
Multiple Characters
Taggart




View Quote You will merely be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.
View Quote [Last words - at the footprints of Douglas Fairbanks] How did he do such terrific stunts... with such little feet?!
View Quote I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, In**an agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, b***erers, b***whackers, h****wogglers, horse thieves, bull d***s, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!
View Quote Horses! We can't afford to lose no horses you dummy! Send a couple-a ****s.
View Quote Don't just lie around getting a suntan. Ain't gonna do you no good no how!
View Quote An uppity **** went and hit me on the head with a shovel.
View Quote Gaw-lee, Mr. Lamarr: you use your tongue purdier than a $20 w***e!
View Quote (when confronted with a toll booth) ... "Le Petomane Through Way"? Now what'll that asshole think of next? Has anybody got a dime? (cowboys grumble) Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!
View Quote Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree!...Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen!
View Quote (after worker faints from the heat) Dock that ch***k a day's pay for nappin' on the job.
View Quote Mexican Outlaw: Badges? We don't need no stinkin badges!
View Quote Lily: Ooh, a wed wose. How...womantic.
View Quote Reverend: Oh Lord, can we complete this mighty task in one night, or we all just jerking off?
Everyone Else: AMEN.
Lyle: (after Lyle and a bunch of other guys farted for 3 minutes) How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart?
Taggart: I'd say you've had enough.
View Quote Charlie: Bart?
Bart: What?
Charlie: Am I wrong, or is the world...rising?
Bart: I don't know, but whatever it is, I hate it!
View Quote [The people are about to shoot Bart at his opening speech - until he takes himself hostage]
Bart (gruff voice, hauling himself by the collar): Hold it! The next man that makes a move, the **** gets it.
Dr. Johnson: Hold it men--he's not bluffing! (all but one man drop their guns)
Dr. Samuel Johnson:Listen to him men, he's just crazy enough to do it!
Bart (gruff, to the one with a gun still): Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this ****'s head ALL OVER THIS TOWN!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he's desp'at! Do what he say, do what he saaaayyyy... do what he saaaayyyy...(the man slowly drops the gun)
Harriet Johnson: Isn't anyone going to help that poor man? [Bart is slowly moving towards the sheriff's office, still holding himself hostage]
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Oh he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! Somebbody He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! (gruff voice) Shut up! [He covers his mouth and pushes his way inside the office] (normal voice, to himself) Oh, baby, you are so talented. And they are so dumb!