Blazing Saddles

Blazing Saddles quotes

64 total quotes (ID: 84)

Hedley Lamarr
Jim, The Waco Kid
Multiple Characters

I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!

Piss on you, I'm workin' for Mel Brooks!

See, I knew you wasn't no Waco Kid. You was just pullin' my lariat!

Send a wire to the main office, and tell them that I said... (Bart hits him on the head with a shovel) OW!!!

Shut up, you Teutonic twat!!

Taxi! Drive me off of this picture!

That's Hedley. [Repeated line - he is frequently confused with Hedy Lamarr by many characters]

Uh sir, sir. He specifically requested two '****s'! Well, to tell a family secret--my grandmother was Dutch.

Well raise my rent! You are the Kid!

Well, don't just stand there looking stupid and holding your hands in pain. How 'bout a little (****s gun) applause for the Waco Kid? (Taggert and men clap)

Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day I was just walking down the street, when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around, and there I was face-to-face with a six-year-old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass! So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.

Well, Mongo ain't exactly a "who", he's more of a "what".

Well, my name's Jim. But most people call me...Jim.

Well, you devious son of a bitch.

What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter?" You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know...morons.