"Kill you?" Motherfucker, I'll kill you! I'll just enjoy it better.

"[Looking at Hannibal King's sticker- Hello my name is FUCK YOU] Is this supposed to be tactical?"

Blade: Now, what's behind Door Number One?
Chief Martin Vreede:I can't tell you. They-they'll kill me.
Blade: Kill you? Motherfucker, I'll kill you. I'll just enjoy it better.

Dr. Edgar Vance: How about the president? You know who that is. Who's in the White House right now?
Blade: An asshole.

Dracula: [Holding a baby over the edge of a tall building] Careful, Daywalker. They've told me so much about you.
Blade: Why'd you kill Vance?
Dracula: He'd outlived his purpose. He died a good death. Quick. Clean.
Blade: I wouldn't know.
Dracula: You will.
Blade: How are you able to survive in sunlight?
Dracula: Haven't you heard? I am the first. I am unique.

Dracula: Look at them. Scurrying around like insects. They don't know what it's like to be immortal, or living by the sword.
Blade: You're not immortal. I must have heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim. Each one of them has tasted the end of my sword.
Dracula: Perhaps I will too, then, but I think it is more likely the next time we meet, you'll fall before mine.

Dracula: Blade. Ready to die?
Blade: [Unsheathes his sword] Was born ready, motherfucker.
Dracula: Motherfucker. I like that.

Hannibal King: Did you see that guy? We're gonna lose, man! [Abigail takes the stake from his shoulder] God! We're going to fucking lose! What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other?
Abigail: Shut up, king.
Hannibal King: See you in 28 days. [Laughs. Abigail holds out a vial] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that?
Abigail Whistler: It's an elastic protein. It's going to stop the hemmoraging.
Hannibal King: Is it going to hurt?
Abigail Whistler: Yeah, it's going to sting a little.
[Abigail sprays a thick, white substance onto the wound]
Hannibal King: FUCK ME!! [Screams]

Hannibal King: You're gonna be sorry you did that.
Asher Talos: Why? [Kicks him] No one's coming for you, King-shit.
Hannibal King: Sure they are. See, when you join our club, you get all these groovy little door prizes. And one of them is this nifty little tracking node surgically implanted in your body. That way, if one of us goes missing, the others check the satelite, which is in space... and presto. Instant cavalry. [Asher starts mockingly clapping] You like that? Go fuck your sister.
Jarko Grimwood: Yeah. [Hits King in the back of the head]
Danica Talos: Okay, King. Where's this little "tracking node" of yours?
Hannibal King: It's in my right ass cheek. [Danica slaps him] Fine. It's in my left ass cheek. [Danica slaps him] Okay, seriously, now. It's in the meat of my butt just below the Hello Kitty tattoo. [Danica kicks him in the groin] Seriously, just pull down my tightie-whities and see for yourself.
Danica Talos: Enough! It's not funny anymore.
Hannibal King: No, it's not you horse-humping BITCH! But it will be a few seconds from now. See that tickle that you're feeling in the back of your throat right now? It's atomized collital silver. It's being pumped through the buildings air conditioning systems you cock-juggling THUNDERCUNT!! [Jarko Grimwood coughs a fire ball] Which means the fat lady... should be singing... right... about... NOW! [Nothing happens] This is awkward. [Still nothing] Do you have a cell phone?

Hannibal King: We call ourselves the Nightstalkers.
Blade: Sounds like rejects from a Saturday morning cartoon.
Hannibal King: Well, we were originally going to go with the Care Bears but, that was taken.

Jarko Grimmwood: Hey, dickface. You seen my dog?
Hannibal King: Have you tried the lobby? [Grimmwood grabs him by the throat] Thank you. [Grimmwood throws him against a wall] Fuck...
Jarko Grimmwood: Come on, King.
Hannibal King: ...this.

[A Pomeranian is licking King's ear]
Hannibal King: Back off, pooch.
[The dog exposes its Reaper-like jaws and tongue]
Hannibal King: [Stands] Jesus Christ! What the FUCK?!
Asher Talos: [Picks up the dog] Good dog.
Hannibal King: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Asher Talos: His name's Pac-Man. We've been porting the vampire gene into other species. Experimenting.
Hannibal King: You made a goddamn vampire... Pomeranian?
Asher Talos: Yeah. [Hands Pac-Man to Jarko Grimwood]
Jarko Grimwood: Precious, isn't he?
Hannibal King: Well, that depends who you ask because clearly, this dog has a bigger dick than you.
Jarko Grimwood: And when the fuck did you see my dick, Fuck-Face?! [Kicks King]
Hannibal King: Ow! I was talking to HER! [Points to Danica Talos]
Danica Talos: Poor King. You look so... DISTRAUGHT! [Kicks him] Asher, hand me that chair. [Sits in the chair and licks one of King's wounds.] You're tasting a little bland, lover. Are you getting enough fatty acids in your diet? Have you tried... Lake Trout? Mackerel?
Hannibal King: How about you take a sugar-frosted fuck... off the end of my dick?
Danica Talos: And how about everyone not saying the word "dick" anymore? It provokes my envy. Tell us about Blade, King. What's this weapon he's planning?
Hannibal King: I can tell you two things. One, your hairdo is... ridiculous. And two, I ate a lot of garlic, and I just farted. Silent but deadly.
Jarko Grimwood: [Grabs King] Spit it out, you fucking fruitcake!
Hannibal King: All right! Fuck! I'll tell you about the weapon! [Grimwood releases him] It's a new flavor-crystal formula. Twice the choclaty goodness, half the calories, plus it helps prevent tooth decay. There, I said it.

[A cell phone rings while he is holding a familiar upside-down] Oh, it's you!

[A FBI member asks him how many people he killed] 1, 182. But they were all familiars. People who work for them.

[after watching Blade casually kill a familiar] You know, one of these days, you might want to consider sitting down with someone. You know, have a little share time? Get in touch with your inner child? Also - just a thought - but, you just might want to consider blinking once in a while. [Blade stops and slowly turns to look at Hannibal] Sorry, I, uh... I ate a lot of sugar today.