And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed'em!"

Black Sheep is a 1996 film about a gubernatorial candidate that hires a wormy special assistant whose only job is to make sure the candidate's well-meaning but incompetent brother doesn't ruin the election.. There's one in every family.

(talking on the phone) Hi there, this is Mike Donnelly. I work over here at the recreational center. To be honest with you I pretty much run the place ha, ha, ha. Is this ah Pat Gyles? Good, Good. Hey, hope everything's going great in your fine town of er Avery? Edward! Ha, ha, ha. Say, the reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you a little bit about the candidacy of Al Donnelly. Al Donnelly's a guy with a dream. His dream is to become governor of this great state of Washington. Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right? Between you, me and the wall here, I doozy myself last night. Ha ha, ha, ha. Get this: A corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles yo-yo's, a circus midget. My grandmother riding by on a bicycle give me the finger, and a duck! Now, I don't know ha, ha, ha. Are you crying? Oh my lord. I am sorry honey, please don't! Could you get your daddy on the phone. No, don't hang up please I...

There's no access for you in this quadrant.

[on stage making a fool of himself] Voting kicks ass right! Cause, uh, if voting kicks ass, you got some kick ass shit!

[on stage making a fool of himself] That's one small step for man! One giant... I have a dream!

We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!

Horse shit!

Boy, I could sure use some cupcakes or peanut butter cups right now.

[holding onto a small plant on a steep hill] Oh, thank you, little roots! Please stay strong (Root quickly givesand Mike falls to the foot of the mountain.) What in the hell was that all about!?

[on Drake Sabitch] This guy is like Leatherface, Chucky and Jan Brady all rolled into one.

Are you or are you not the Black Angel of Death?

(Trying to pronounce "roads") Row-ads. Roods.

Steve: This is great I never win at checkers.
Mike: Yes, well, it's kinda easy to win when you NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW!

Steve: check it out. This fridge is only being held by this plug. (Pulls plug out, and the fridge rolls toward Mike, crashing into him and running him into a wall.)
Steve: Are you okay? Mike: I'm just dandy! I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!
Steve: We didn't have any pudding in there buddy.