And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed'em!"

Are you or are you not the Black Angel of Death?

Boy, I could sure use some cupcakes or peanut butter cups right now.

Horse shit!

There's no access for you in this quadrant.

We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!

[a bat flies out at them] Steve: What the heck is that?
Mike: Ah! It's Ozzy Osborne!

[holding onto a small plant on a steep hill] Oh, thank you, little roots! Please stay strong (Root quickly givesand Mike falls to the foot of the mountain.) What in the hell was that all about!?

[Mike is pretending to be a cop, Steve is pretending to be a prisoner] Steve: Ro-ads. Roods.
Mike: Quiet back there! I've taken enough guff from you for one day!
[turns to state trooper] Mike: Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!

[on Drake Sabitch] This guy is like Leatherface, Chucky and Jan Brady all rolled into one.

[on stage making a fool of himself] That's one small step for man! One giant... I have a dream!

[on stage making a fool of himself] Voting kicks ass right! Cause, uh, if voting kicks ass, you got some kick ass shit!

[Steve comes back sprayed with a fire extinguisher] Mike: Whoa, what happened to you? Did you fall into some mud or something?
Steve: Yeah, I did. And now I'm gonna be famous because I'm the only one in the world who knows where you can find white mud.

[the roof has blown off the house and it begins to hail all over Mike who is in the top bunk] Steve: Hey Mike, 'I got dibs on top' Ha ha.
Mike: Shut up!
Steve: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Mike: Why don't you shut up?
Steve: Heh heh, 'Hello Washington'. Ha ha ha.
Mike: SHUT UP!