Billy Madison: You want some of this milk?
Veronica Vaughn: That milk belongs to that classroom.
Billy Madison: But they don't gots to know about it. It could be our milk.
Veronica Vaughn: No milk will ever be our milk.
Billy Madison: Now that wasn't very nice. How 'bout you Sideburns? You want some of this milk?
Janitor: I'd rather have a beer.

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Eric is pregnant!! Congratulations Big Fella!!! He's gonna be a soccer player! Yes he is! Yes he ii-iiiis.

Chlorophyll? More like BOROPHYLL!

He called the shit poop!

Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.

3rd Grader: Hey, look everybody! Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants! Everyone my age pees their pants; it's the coolest!
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES! You ain't cool...unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey, look! Ernie peed his pants, too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH! That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go.

3rd Grader: Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl
Billy Madison: Kid can't even read.
Ernie: Cut it out dude, you're gonna get us in trouble.
Billy Madison: T-T-T-TODAY, JUNIOR!

Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ace. I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean.
Billy Madison: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know...Him and her *got it on*! Wooo-eee!
Billy Madison: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no, they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, huh?

Lunch Lady: Here ya go! Have some more Sloppy joes. I made'em EXTRA sloppy for ya's; I know you's kids like 'em sloppy.
[The lunch lady laughs evilly.]
Billy Madison: Lady, you're scaring us!

( after Ernie hangs up the phone ) YOU BLEW IT!

Actually, I got this shirt from Frank.

I choose Business Ethics.

[Menacingly] O'Doyle, I think you and your family are headed for a big fall... [Chirpy] but right now, I gotta study.

Er Dad do we have to discuss this with Captain Dipshit in the room?