Billy Madison

Billy Madison quotes

32 total quotes (ID: 77)

Billy Madison
Clown
Game show host
O'Doyle Family


JUST DO IT!


To...to...to...today, Junior!

Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.

Shampoo is better; I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better; I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! [He notices a gold swan on the edge of the bathtub.] Stop looking at me, swan!

[Billy after he hallucinates and sees the penguin at Veronica's house][drunkenly]Oh. I see how it is. So sorry to interrupt!

You ain't cool, unless, you pee your pants. All the kids my age pee their pants, it's the coolest.

Chlorophyll? More like BOROPHYLL!

I choose Business Ethics.

[Menacingly] O'Doyle, I think you and your family are headed for a big fall... [Chirpy] but right now, I gotta study.

Eric is pregnant!! Congratulations Big Fella!!! He's gonna be a soccer player! Yes he is! Yes he ii-iiiis.

Er Dad do we have to discuss this with Captain Dipshit in the room?

Hey, kids it's me! I bet you thought that I was dead! But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head! Ha Ha!

Billy Madison:(Faking sickness so he can skive off of school. He lays in bed with a mouth thermometer he heated with his desk-lamp) I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.
Juanita: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy Madison:(Sounding disgusted) Oh, my God, I'll go to school.

Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ace. I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean.
Billy Madison: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know...Him and her *got it on*! Wooo-eee!
Billy Madison: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no, they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, huh?

O'Doyle: Mortal Kombat for the Sega Genesis is the best game ever made.
Billy Madison: I disagree. It's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is better.
O'Doyle: Donkey Kong sucks!
Billy Madison: Wanna know somethin'? You suck!