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Billy Madison

Billy Madison quotes

32 total quotes

Billy Madison
Clown
Game show host
O'Doyle Family




View Quote JUST DO IT!
View Quote To...to...to...today, Junior!
View Quote Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.
View Quote Shampoo is better; I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better; I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! [He notices a gold swan on the edge of the bathtub.] Stop looking at me, swan!
View Quote [Billy after he hallucinates and sees the penguin at Veronica's house][drunkenly]Oh. I see how it is. So sorry to interrupt!
View Quote You ain't cool, unless, you pee your pants. All the kids my age pee their pants, it's the coolest.
View Quote Chlorophyll? More like BOROPHYLL!
View Quote I choose Business Ethics.
View Quote [Menacingly] O'Doyle, I think you and your family are headed for a big fall... [Chirpy] but right now, I gotta study.
View Quote Eric is pregnant!! Congratulations Big Fella!!! He's gonna be a soccer player! Yes he is! Yes he ii-iiiis.
View Quote Er Dad do we have to discuss this with Captain Dipshit in the room?
View Quote Hey, kids it's me! I bet you thought that I was dead! But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head! Ha Ha!
View Quote Billy Madison:(Faking sickness so he can skive off of school. He lays in bed with a mouth thermometer he heated with his desk-lamp) I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.
Juanita: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy Madison:(Sounding disgusted) Oh, my God, I'll go to school.
View Quote Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ace. I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean.
Billy Madison: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know...Him and her *got it on*! Wooo-eee!
Billy Madison: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no, they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, huh?
View Quote O'Doyle: Mortal Kombat for the Sega Genesis is the best game ever made.
Billy Madison: I disagree. It's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is better.
O'Doyle: Donkey Kong sucks!
Billy Madison: Wanna know somethin'? You suck!