Billy Madison quotes

I can see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words... I'm deaf! Oh, Veronica Vaughn... Sooo hot... Want to touch the hiney... Ruff!

It's nudey magazine day!

He called the shit poop!

Well, I could think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would involve a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.

Whoa, whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy! The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for his pupppy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits? You get your ass out there, and you find that ****ing dog!

Well, I made the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before, and, to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck.

That's QUACKTASTIC!

Actually, I got this shirt from Frank.

Is that it, Dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this?

JUST DO IT!

You know I like Snack pack, why can't you just give me the snack pack?

To...to...to...today, Junior!

Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.

Shampoo is better; I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better; I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! [He notices a gold swan on the edge of the bathtub.] Stop looking at me, swan!

[Billy after he hallucinates and sees the penguin at Veronica's house][drunkenly]Oh. I see how it is. So sorry to interrupt!

You ain't cool, unless, you pee your pants. All the kids my age pee their pants, it's the coolest.

( after Ernie hangs up the phone ) YOU BLEW IT!

Chlorophyll? More like BOROPHYLL!

I choose Business Ethics.

[Menacingly] O'Doyle, I think you and your family are headed for a big fall... [Chirpy] but right now, I gotta study.

Eric is pregnant!! Congratulations Big Fella!!! He's gonna be a soccer player! Yes he is! Yes he ii-iiiis.

Er Dad do we have to discuss this with Captain Dipshit in the room?

  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the