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Billy Madison

Billy Madison quotes

32 total quotes

Billy Madison
Clown
Game show host
O'Doyle Family




View Quote You know I like Snack pack, why can't you just give me the snack pack?
View Quote Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
View Quote O'Doyle rules!
View Quote 3rd Grader: Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl
Billy Madison: Kid can't even read.
Ernie: Cut it out dude, you're gonna get us in trouble.
Billy Madison: T-T-T-TODAY, JUNIOR!
View Quote 3rd Grader: Hey, look everybody! Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants! Everyone my age pees their pants; it's the coolest!
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES! You ain't cool...unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey, look! Ernie peed his pants, too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH! That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go.
View Quote I can see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words... I'm deaf! Oh, Veronica Vaughn... Sooo hot... Want to touch the hiney... Ruff!
View Quote It's nudey magazine day!
View Quote He called the shit poop!
View Quote Well, I could think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would involve a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.
View Quote Whoa, whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy! The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for his pupppy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits? You get your ass out there, and you find that ****ing dog!
View Quote Well, I made the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before, and, to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck.
View Quote That's QUACKTASTIC!
View Quote Actually, I got this shirt from Frank.
View Quote Is that it, Dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this?
View Quote JUST DO IT!