Multiple Characters quotes

The elder Lebowski:I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs - some Chinaman took them from me in Korea. But I went out and achieved anyway!

Answering Machine: Mr Lebowski, this is Bill Salinger of the Southern Cal bowling league. We received an, uh, an informal complaint that a member of your team - a Walter Sobchak? - drew a firearm during league play. If this is true, of course, it contravenes a number of the league's by-laws and also article 27...

Jesus Quintana: [Talking to the Dude and Walter] Hey! What's this 'day of rest' shit? What's this bullshit? I don't ****ing care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not fooling me. You might fool the ****s in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This is bush league psych-out stuff. Laughable, man. Ha ha! I would've ****ed you in the ass Saturday. I'll **** you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Whoo! You got a date Wednesday, baby.

Walter Sobchak: He's cracking.

Jesus Quintana: [Talking to the Dude] Are you ready to be ****ed, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna **** you up.

The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pandejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece (reference to Walter's Colt pistol) out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the ****ing trigger 'til it goes "click" (all eight rounds in his fully loaded Colt pistol were fired).

The Dude: Jesus.

Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody ****s with The Jesus.

Donny: I am the Walrus.

Donny: Phone's ringing Dude.

The Dude: [ignoring the phone] Thank you, Donny.

Donny: I'm throwin' rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude.

Nihilist #3: [Whilst making threatening moves toward the Dude] I **** you in the ass, I **** you in the ass, I **** you, I **** you, I **** you, I ****... [Is smacked in the back of the head and lower back with a boom box before he can do anything]

Da Fino: Let me tell ya something - I dig your work. Playing one side against the other, in bed with everybody - just fabulous stuff.

Pilar: [In response to Walter's query whether her husband in an iron lung still writes TV shows] Oh, no. He has health problems.

The Dude: (With Brandt, encountering the young Mrs. Lebowski in a minimal bikini in a chaise overlooking the estate swimming pool) Ahhh, You're Bunny.

Bunny: (To The Dude) I'll suck your **** for a thousand dollars

Brandt: (Releasing a gale of forced laughter) Ha-ha-ha-ha! Wonderful woman. We're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.

Bunny: Brandt can't watch, though. Or he has to pay a hundred.

Brandt: Aha-ha-ha-ha! That's marvelous.

The Dude: Uhhhh...I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.

Brandt: This is our concern, Dude.

The elder Lebowski: Nothing is ****ED?! The god-damn plane has crashed INTO THE MOUNTAIN!

Sheriff of Malibu: (To The Dude) I don't like your jerk-off name, I don't like your jerk-off face, I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you. Jerk-off.

Wu: ****in' timewaster.

The elder Lebowski: Okay sir, you're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski, that's terrific, but I'm very busy, as I imagine you are. What can I do for you, sir?

The Dude: Well, sir, it's this rug I have. It really tied the room together.

The Dude: Well they were looking for you, these two guys.

The elder Lebowski: I'll say it again. You told Brandt on the phone. He told me. I know what happened. Yes? Yes?

The Dude: Oh, so you know they were trying to piss on your rug.

The Dude: You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug?

The elder Lebowski: Hello! Do you speak English sir? Parla usted Ingles? I'll say it again. Did I urinate on your rug?

The Dude: No, like I said, Woo peed on my rug.

The elder Lebowski: I just want to understand this sir-- every time a rug is...micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the person?

Nihilist: We are Nihilists, Lebowski. We believe in nothing. Yeah, nothing.

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