The elder Lebowski:I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs - some Chinaman took them from me in Korea. But I went out and achieved anyway!

Answering Machine: Mr Lebowski, this is Bill Salinger of the Southern Cal bowling league. We received an, uh, an informal complaint that a member of your team - a Walter Sobchak? - drew a firearm during league play. If this is true, of course, it contravenes a number of the league's by-laws and also article 27...

Jesus Quintana: [Talking to the Dude and Walter] Hey! What's this 'day of rest' shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not fooling me. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This is bush league psych-out stuff. Laughable, man. Ha ha! I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday. I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Whoo! You got a date Wednesday, baby.

Walter Sobchak: He's cracking.

Jesus Quintana: [Talking to the Dude] Are you ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.

The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pandejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece (reference to Walter's Colt pistol) out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click" (all eight rounds in his fully loaded Colt pistol were fired).

The Dude: Jesus.

Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with The Jesus.

Donny: I am the Walrus.

Donny: Phone's ringing Dude.

The Dude: [ignoring the phone] Thank you, Donny.

Donny: I'm throwin' rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude.

Nihilist #3: [Whilst making threatening moves toward the Dude] I fuck you in the ass, I fuck you in the ass, I fuck you, I fuck you, I fuck you, I fuck... [Is smacked in the back of the head and lower back with a boom box before he can do anything]

Da Fino: Let me tell ya something - I dig your work. Playing one side against the other, in bed with everybody - just fabulous stuff.

Pilar: [In response to Walter's query whether her husband in an iron lung still writes TV shows] Oh, no. He has health problems.

The Dude: (With Brandt, encountering the young Mrs. Lebowski in a minimal bikini in a chaise overlooking the estate swimming pool) Ahhh, You're Bunny.

Bunny: (To The Dude) I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars

Brandt: (Releasing a gale of forced laughter) Ha-ha-ha-ha! Wonderful woman. We're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.

Bunny: Brandt can't watch, though. Or he has to pay a hundred.

Brandt: Aha-ha-ha-ha! That's marvelous.

The Dude: Uhhhh...I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.

Brandt: This is our concern, Dude.

The elder Lebowski: Nothing is FUCKED?! The god-damn plane has crashed INTO THE MOUNTAIN!

Sheriff of Malibu: (To The Dude) I don't like your jerk-off name, I don't like your jerk-off face, I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you. Jerk-off.

Wu: Fuckin' timewaster.

The elder Lebowski: Okay sir, you're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski, that's terrific, but I'm very busy, as I imagine you are. What can I do for you, sir?

The Dude: Well, sir, it's this rug I have. It really tied the room together.

The Dude: Well they were looking for you, these two guys.

The elder Lebowski: I'll say it again. You told Brandt on the phone. He told me. I know what happened. Yes? Yes?

The Dude: Oh, so you know they were trying to piss on your rug.

The Dude: You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug?

The elder Lebowski: Hello! Do you speak English sir? Parla usted Ingles? I'll say it again. Did I urinate on your rug?

The Dude: No, like I said, Woo peed on my rug.

The elder Lebowski: I just want to understand this sir-- every time a rug is...micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the person?

Nihilist: We are Nihilists, Lebowski. We believe in nothing. Yeah, nothing.