Better Off Dead

Better Off Dead quotes

19 total quotes (ID: 1003)

Al Myer
Charles de Mar
Lane Myer

[giving skiing instructions] Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years! I'm no dummy!

Tree Trimmer: [After Lane falls into a dump truck off of a bridge] Man, that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.

Monique Junot: He keeps trying to put his testicles all over me!
Lane Myer: Testicles?
Monique Junot: You know...octopus.
Lane Myer: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N T Big Difference.

Monique Junot: I think all you need is a small taste of success, and you will find it suits you.

I gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire. [hangs up the phone.]

Beth Truss: She doesn't date certain members of the basketball team: she dates the whole team!

I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

Roy Stalin: [To Beth] Is Oscar here your main weiner man?

The Paper Boy: I want my two dallors!!!

I know its bacon... but what have you done to it?!

Jenny Myer: How was your day?
Lane Myer: Beth just dumped me.
Jenny Myer: That's nice dear.

Dying when you're not really sick is really sick, you know. Really!

[why he can't pay the paper boy] Uh, my brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and my grandmother, she dropped acid and freaked out and hijaked a schoolbus full of...penguins.

Johnny Gasparini: Two dollars! (repeated line)