Better Off Dead quotes

19 total quotes

Al Myer
Charles de Mar
Lane Myer
Others

View Quote Johnny Gasparini: Two dollars! (repeated line)

View Quote Monique Junot: I think all you need is a small taste of success, and you will find it suits you.

View Quote Monique Junot: He keeps trying to put his testicles all over me!
Lane Myer: Testicles?
Monique Junot: You know...octopus.
Lane Myer: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N T Big Difference.

View Quote I know its bacon... but what have you done to it?!

View Quote Joanne Greenwald... the girl with the antennae on her face?

View Quote I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

View Quote She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile.

View Quote [why he can't pay the paper boy] Uh, my brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and my grandmother, she dropped acid and freaked out and hijaked a schoolbus full of...penguins.

View Quote I gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire. [hangs up the phone.]

View Quote I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years! I'm no dummy!

View Quote This mountain is made entirely out of snow... Do you know what the street value of this mountain is?

View Quote Dying when you're not really sick is really sick, you know. Really!

View Quote [giving skiing instructions] Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

View Quote Beth Truss: She doesn't date certain members of the basketball team: she dates the whole team!

View Quote Roy Stalin: [Upon seeing Lane] Oscar Meyer!