Better Off Dead

Better Off Dead quotes

19 total quotes (ID: 1003)

Al Myer
Charles de Mar
Lane Myer

Johnny Gasparini: Two dollars! (repeated line)

Monique Junot: I think all you need is a small taste of success, and you will find it suits you.

Monique Junot: He keeps trying to put his testicles all over me!
Lane Myer: Testicles?
Monique Junot: You know...octopus.
Lane Myer: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N T Big Difference.

I know its bacon... but what have you done to it?!

Joanne Greenwald... the girl with the antennae on her face?

I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile.

[why he can't pay the paper boy] Uh, my brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and my grandmother, she dropped acid and freaked out and hijaked a schoolbus full of...penguins.

I gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire. [hangs up the phone.]

I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years! I'm no dummy!

This mountain is made entirely out of snow... Do you know what the street value of this mountain is?

Dying when you're not really sick is really sick, you know. Really!

[giving skiing instructions] Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

Beth Truss: She doesn't date certain members of the basketball team: she dates the whole team!

Roy Stalin: [Upon seeing Lane] Oscar Meyer!