Bend It Like Beckham quotes

View Quote Joe: Where do you normally play?
Jess: In the park.
Joe: No... I meant what position?

View Quote Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.

View Quote [after family accuses her of kissing a white boy who is really Jules] Me? Kissing? A boy? You're mad. You're all bloody mad.

View Quote Joe: Look, I can't let you go without knowing.
Jess: What?
Joe: That even with the distance, and it concerns your family, we might still have something. Don't you think?

View Quote Anyone can cook aloo gobi, but who can bend a ball like Beckham?

View Quote Mother, just because I wear trackies and play sports DOES NOT MAKE ME A LESBIAN!

View Quote Jes? Is that ... Indian?

View Quote Tony: Look, Jessie. You can't plan who you fall for. It just happens. I mean, look at... Posh and Becks.
Jess: Well, Beckham's the best.
Tony: [chuckles] Yeah! I really like Beckham too.
Jess: Well of course you do. No one can cross a ball or bend it like Beckham
Tony: [shakes head] No, Jess. I really like Beckham.
Jess: What? You mean... [incredulous scoff] But you're Indian!

View Quote Paula: That's why she's been so depressed lately cos' that Jess broke her heart! She's in love. With a girl!
Alan Paxton: You're jumping to all the wrong conclusions
Paula: But I heard her! No wonder she never looked twice at the Kevin or brought any boys home. I tried to get her nice clothes, you know we've had some lovely prints in this summer you know in swimwear and sarongs and that. She never wants to go shopping with me. It was terrible what they did to that George Michael going on about him and his private business in the papers like that! Oh No!
Alan Paxton: George Michael is still a superstar and you still listen to Wham!

View Quote All I'm saying is, there's a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella!

View Quote [explaining to Joe how she got the large burn scar on her thigh that makes her shy of wearing shorts]
Jess: I was eight. My mum was working overtime at Heathrow. And I was trying to cook beans on toast. And I jumped up to the grill to get the toast. And my trousers caught light so my sister put me in the bath, poured cold water over me and pulled them off. And half my skin came off too.
Joe: Sorry.
Jess: I know - it put me off beans on toast for life.

View Quote Do you not realise that you have a daughter with breasts?

View Quote [after seeing Jess almost kiss Joe] You bitch!

View Quote Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!

View Quote You know Jesminder, I cooked a lovely curry the other day.