Bend It Like Beckham

Bend It Like Beckham quotes

32 total quotes (ID: 70)

Jess Bhamra
Joe
Jules Paxton
Multiple Characters
Paula Paxton


[to Jess]] Your mum's a barrel of laughs compared to my dad.


Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.

Wedding videographer: Eyes down. Don't smile. Indian bride never smiles. You'll ruin the bloody video!

Dressmaker: [about Jess's breasts] Don't worry, Miss Bahmra. Our designs will make even these little mosquito bites look like juicy, juicy mangoes!

Tony: Well you fancying your gorah coach is OK with me. Besides, he's quite fit!

Wedding Guest: Lesbian? Her birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.

Mrs. Bhamra: Your sister's getting engaged and you're sitting here watching this skinhead boy!
Jess: Mum, it's Beckham's corner!

Joe: Where do you normally play?
Jess: In the park.
Joe: No... I meant what position?

[explaining to Joe how she got the large burn scar on her thigh that makes her shy of wearing shorts]
Jess: I was eight. My mum was working overtime at Heathrow. And I was trying to cook beans on toast. And I jumped up to the grill to get the toast. And my trousers caught light so my sister put me in the bath, poured cold water over me and pulled them off. And half my skin came off too.
Joe: Sorry.
Jess: I know - it put me off beans on toast for life.

Joe: Look, Jess. I saw it. She fouled you. She tugged your shirt. You just overreacted, that's all.
Jess: That's not all. She called me a Paki. But I guess that's something you wouldn't understand.
Joe: Jess, I'm Irish. Of course I understand what that feels like.

Paula: That's why she's been so depressed lately cos' that Jess broke her heart! She's in love. With a girl!
Alan Paxton: You're jumping to all the wrong conclusions
Paula: But I heard her! No wonder she never looked twice at the Kevin or brought any boys home. I tried to get her nice clothes, you know we've had some lovely prints in this summer you know in swimwear and sarongs and that. She never wants to go shopping with me. It was terrible what they did to that George Michael going on about him and his private business in the papers like that! Oh No!
Alan Paxton: George Michael is still a superstar and you still listen to Wham!

Tony: Look, Jessie. You can't plan who you fall for. It just happens. I mean, look at... Posh and Becks.
Jess: Well, Beckham's the best.
Tony: [chuckles] Yeah! I really like Beckham too.
Jess: Well of course you do. No one can cross a ball or bend it like Beckham
Tony: [shakes head] No, Jess. I really like Beckham.
Jess: What? You mean... [incredulous scoff] But you're Indian!

Jess: Why are you doing this to me, Joe? Every time I talk myself out of it, you come around and make it sound so easy.
Joe: I guess I don't want to give up on you.

Joe: You're lucky... to have a family that cares that much about you. I can understand you don't want to mess with it.
Jess: Joe...
Joe: And I don't fancy being busted by your dad again. You better get back.

Jules: Me and Jess were fighting because we both fancy our coach... Joe.
Paula: [pause] Joe, a man, Joe?
Jules: [exasperated] Yeah, as in male, Joe! Joe, our coach, Joe, man, Joe!