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Being John Malkovich

Being John Malkovich quotes

26 total quotes

Charlie Sheen
Craig Schwartz
John Malkovich
Lotte Schwartz
Maxine Lund
Multiple Characters

You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes. Then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!

Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.

You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lotte, I tell you that as a friend.

John M.: The...this...the weird thing is this Maxine likes to call me Lottie.
Charlie Sheen: Ouch! That is hot! Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover...Sounds like my kind of gal! Let me know when you're done with her, yeah?
John M.: What are you talking about, done with her? Tonight really freaked me out!

Dr. Lester: Floris! Get Guinness on the phone!
Floris: Ah, yes sir, Genghis Kahn Capone. Fine.
Dr. Lester: Damn fine woman, Floris. I don't know how she puts up with this speech impediment of mine.

Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?

Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you, with total lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?

Behind the stubble and the too-prominent brow and the male-pattern baldness... I sensed your feminine longing. And it just slew me.

Just one question. Who the **** is John Malkovich?

Help! He's locking me in a cage!

Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man.

I have been to the dark side. I have seen a world that no man should see.

That portal is mine, and it must be sealed forever.

It's my head, Schwartz! It's my head!

Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy.