Barbarella

Barbarella quotes

25 total quotes (ID: 654)

Barbarella
Pygar


A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.


An angel does not make love, an angel is love.

But you're soft and warm! We're told that Earth beings are cold.

An angel has no memory

[From the theme song.]
Singer: Barbarella, psychedella / There's a kind of ****le shell about you...
Chorus: Barbarella, Bah-Barbarella...

[A nude Barbarella answers her wallscreen call from the President of Earth.]
President: Barbarella?
Barbarella: Mr. President!
[The President takes a long look, then greets her officially.]
President: Love.
Barbarella: Love.
[The President turns away from the screen.]
Barbarella: Just a moment — I'll slip something on.
President: Don't trouble yourself. This is an affair of state.

[The President speaks of Durand Durand's invention of a "positronic ray" weapon.]
Barbarella: Why would anybody want to invent a weapon?
President: How should I know?
Barbarella: I mean, the universe has been pacified for centuries... sir.
President: What we know of it. The trouble is, we don't know anything about Tau Ceti or its inhabitants.
Barbarella: You mean they could still be living in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility?
President: Precisely.
. . .
Barbarella: Something must be done!
President: Yes. And you are the girl who must do it.
Barbarella: Why me?!
President: Barbarella! I have no armies, or police... and I can't spare the Presidential Band. Besides, you're a five-star, double-rated astronavigatrix. Your mission, then.
[Barbarella abruptly stands straight and salutes.]
President: Find Durand Durand, and use all of your incomparable talents to preserve the security of the stars.

[Barbarella thanks Mark Hand for saving her from the vicious biting dolls.]
Barbarella: I'm so grateful for what you've done, I hardly know how to begin to thank you. I'm positive I can get you some sort of recompense from my government. I mean, if— if there's anything you need, or that I can do, please tell me.
Mark Hand: Well, you could let me... make love to you.
Barbarella: "Make love", did you say?
Mark Hand: Yes!
Barbarella: What do you mean? You don't even know my psychocardiogram!
Mark Hand: Eh?
Barbarella: Well, on Earth, for centuries, people haven't made love unless their psychocardiogram readings were in perfect confluence.
. . .
Barbarella: Do you have any pills?
Mark Hand: Pills?!
Barbarella: Oh, never mind. I have some here.
Mark Hand: Uh, b-b-uh... what is this pill?
Barbarella: It's an exhaltation transference pellet, of course.
Mark Hand: Hmm. I know nothing of this.
Barbarella: I see. Well, on Earth, when our psychocardiogram readings are in perfect confluence, and we wish to "make love", as you call it, we take an exhaltation transference pellet, and remain like this — here, let me show you...
[She kneels across the chamber from him, stretches out her hand, and closes her eyes.]
Barbarella: ... for one minute, or until full rapport is achieved.
. . .
Mark Hand: Ah! I don't care for that!
[He points toward the bed.]
Mark Hand: This! This is what I mean. This! The bed.
Barbarella: That?! But nobody's done that for centuries! I mean, nobody except the very poor, who can't afford the pills and the psychocardiogram readings.
Mark Hand: Why not?
Barbarella: 'Cause it was proved to be distracting and a danger to maximum efficiency! And... and because it was pointless to continue it when other substitutes for ego support and self-esteem were made available.

[As Barbarella dreamily wanders around her repaired ship after making love with Mark Hand...]
Mark Hand: And now, Barbarella... don't you agree with me? That in some things, the old-fashioned ways are best after all?
Barbarella: What? Oh, that. Yes, I must admit it was rather... interesting. Still, I see what they mean by saying it's distracting.

[Barbarella meets the blind, angelic ornithanthrope Pygar.]
Barbarella: I'm from the planet Earth. My name is Barbarella.
[He reaches out and caresses her face.]
Pygar: But you're soft and warm! We're told that Earth beings are cold.
Barbarella: [slyly smiling] Not all of us.

[Two men, ominously advancing on a supine Barbarella, are stabbed from behind by a menacing one-eyed woman (who we'll later learn is the Great Tyrant).]
Great Tyrant: Hello, Pretty-Pretty.
Barbarella: [uneasily] Hello.
[Barbarella stands.]
Barbarella: Thank you very much.
Great Tyrant: Do you want to come and play with me? For someone like you I charge nothing.
[Barbarella tries to run, but the woman grabs her by the arm and draws her close.]
Great Tyrant: You're very pretty, Pretty-Pretty.
Barbarella: My name isn't Pretty-Pretty, it's Barbarella.

[Escaping from the Great Tyrant, Barbarella hears a nearby commotion.]
Barbarella: That's screaming! A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.

[Barbarella draws Pygar's hand across some raised lettering.]
Barbarella: Pygar, come. Tell me what that means.
Pygar: "Chamber... of Ultimate... Solution".
Barbarella: I don't like the sound of that.

The Chamber: Ye who have chosen to die, be welcome! To terminate the bitterness of life, you are entitled to select from three exciting and surprising forms of death, one of which awaits beyond each of the doors you see before you. Should you fail to choose, you will be given to the Mathmos. There is no appeal.

[The Concierge leads Barbarella to a room, where the menacing woman emerges, both eyes now intact.]
Great Tyrant: So, my Pretty-Pretty, we meet again.
Barbarella: You! The little one-eyed wench!
Great Tyrant: You have a good memory, Pretty-Pretty. Yes, sometimes I like to go among my people. Be like them. Ordinary. "Evil", as you would call it. So... I'm your little one-eyed wench. I'm also the Great Tyrant.
Barbarella: Well! That's nice.
Great Tyrant: It amuses me immensely! Now I suppose you're interested in the whereabouts and welfare of a certain party, yes?
Barbarella: W— yes, I am! I'm here on the orders of the President of the Republic of Earth. I'm here to find Durand-Durand.
Great Tyrant: I'm not talking about him! I'm speaking of the angel!
Barbarella: Pygar?
Great Tyrant: Yes, Pygar. He has escaped the labyrinth. Crime. He has destroyed twelve of my black guards. Crime. And he dares to deprive me of a pleasure unique in Sogo — an Earthling. Crime! Crime!
Barbarella: Where is Pygar?
Great Tyrant: You want your fine-feathered friend?
[The Great Tyrant nods her head toward something behind Barbarella.]
Great Tyrant: There he is.
[A curtain of snow dissolves to reveal Pygar, tied to a crossbar, wings spread as if crucified.]
Barbarella: Pygar!
Great Tyrant: Amusing, isn't it, Pretty-Pretty? Don't you feel like playing?
. . .
[Barbarella surreptitiously draws Pygar's concealed blaster and grabs the Great Tyrant.]
Barbarella: De-crucify the angel!
Great Tyrant: What?
Barbarella: De-crucify him or I'll melt your face!
. . .
[The Concierge relieves Barbarella of her discharged weapon.]
Great Tyrant: So it was a trick, was it? You should have saved your tricks for... for...
Concierge: For the birds, Your Majesty?
Great Tyrant: Yes! Yes, the birds! The birds! Give her to the birds!