Barbarella quotes

View Quote [As Barbarella is dragged off, the Great Tyrant lays out Pygar and sinuously crawls over him.]
Great Tyrant: Tell me, my fancy, fuzzy freak — what do you think of, when you make love to Barbarella?
Pygar: Make love? I do not understand.
Great Tyrant: Don't be coy with me — you are in no position. If only you had one eye in your head...
[In his "touching" style, he caresses her... features.]
Great Tyrant: ... you would see what a delight I am! My face, my body — all my things are a delight! An exquisite delight.
Pygar: What is it you want?
Great Tyrant: I shall share my delights with you. You shall make love to me.
Pygar: An angel does not make love. An angel is love.
Great Tyrant: Then you're a dead duck. Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake!

View Quote [In an obvious homage to Hitch****'s The Birds, Barbarella is being chewed on (and disrobed) by colorful birds.]
Barbarella: This is really much too poetic a way to die!

View Quote [Barbarella falls down a chute into a room filled with phallic transport tubes, operated by a wiry, caped man.]
Dildano: The password — quickly!
Barbarella: I don't understand!
Dildano: Are you not a political prisoner?
Barbarella: I don't think so.
Dildano: Then you're not one of us.
Barbarella: I'm from Earth.
Dildano: Earth! Planet of the revolutions! W-w-will you join our cause?
Barbarella: What cause? Who are you?
Dildano: I-I'm Dildano, head of the revolutionary forces. This is our headquarters.
. . .
Barbarella: I suppose you realize you've saved my life.
Dildano: A life without cause is a life without effect.
Barbarella: Well, I-I'm sure I could get you a substantial recompense from my government.
Dildano: Earth woman. Shall I tell you what I would like?
[She gives him a rather pleased look.]
Barbarella: I think I know.
[She moves toward a bed and begins to undress.]
Dildano: No! No, not like that! Like on Earth, on-on-on Ea— on Earth! The pill! I-I-I have the pill!
Barbarella: But... uh... Couldn't we do it your way? I don't want to change your traditions.

View Quote [Dildano tries to enlist Barbarella's aid in defeating the Black Queen.]
Dildano: She sleeps alone in a room above the Mathmos, surrounded by a wall of impenetrable energy, to which she alone has the secret key. There exists, however, a second secret key, which my agents have located, and is now in my possession. You want to discover the whereabouts of Durand Durand. I want to capture the Black Queen. You follow my meaning.
Barbarella: If you really do have the second secret key... why haven't you used it already?
Dildano: Ah!
[He looks confused.]
Dildano: Ah. Ah — ah! Because our forces have not as yet been strong enough! The capture of the Black Queen, ah... has to be associated with a military... coup! Hmm. With your weaponry and spacecraft, this can be brought about. With the Black Queen in your control, you can get her to divulge the whereabouts of Durand Durand!
Barbarella: Yes, I see.
[He turns to look at her, relieved.]
Dildano: Good.

View Quote [Dildano arranges a clandestine meeting with Professor Ping.]
Dildano: Our rendezvous point will be at 1600 hours. And our password will be... "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch".
Barbarella: You mean, the secret "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"?
Dildano: Exactly.

View Quote [Dildano looks at his secret chute map.]
Dildano: The time is right! The Queen is in her Chamber of Dreams.
Barbarella: What about the key?
Dildano: Ah, the key.
[He brings over a case and opens it, revealing... nothing.]
Dildano: There is the secret key.
Dildano: Where?
Dildano: It's invisible, of course. Only an invisible key can open an invisible wall.

View Quote [Barbarella survives the Concierge's deadly musical orgasm machine, but it overloads, the cables catching fire.]
Concierge: I don't believe it! Wretched, wretched girl! What have you done to my Exsexive Machine?! You've undone it! You've undone me! Look! The energy cables are shrinking! You've turned them into ****s! You've— you've burned out the Exsexive Machine! You've blown all its fuses!
Barbarella: [sighing] My goodness!

View Quote [The Concierge, revealed as Durand Durand himself, rants about his new purpose.]
Durand Durand: I speak of the dignity... the nobility of pure evil!
. . .
Barbarella: What have you done with the positronic ray?
Durand Durand: Oh, so that's it.
Barbarella: What does it do?
Durand Durand: All persons and objects in its path are de-minimalized to the fourth level.
Barbarella: You mean—
Durand Durand: That's right. Replaced in the fourth dimension, irretrievably.
. . .
[Dr. Durand explains his reluctance to attack the Black Queen.]
Durand Durand: Whoever succeeds in killing her will be put immediately to a horrible death. Hence my prudence.
[His manic expression turns to one of dismay.]
Durand Durand: I find horrible the idea that one could do to me, that which I do to others.

View Quote [Barbarella tries to rouse the Queen in her Chamber of Dreams.]
Barbarella: Wake up, Your Majesty! You must wake up!
Great Tyrant: Vade retro, Earth girl! I know you don't really exist.[N]
Barbarella: That may be, Your Majesty, but we'd better stick to what we see.

View Quote [Barbarella and the Great Tyrant are in a small bubble inside the swirling lava-lamp-like Mathmos.]
Barbarella: Where are we?
Great Tyrant: In the Mathmos, and alive!
Barbarella: I can see that, but why?
Great Tyrant: It seems the Mathmos has created this bubble to protect itself from your innocence.
. . .
[The women's bubble is deposited on solid ground, breaking open.]
Great Tyrant: You are so good, you made the Mathmos vomit.