Barry: I think Derek's turned his toes up, guys.

Coldfinger: I think this is a job for real men!

Lord Crumb: [drinking bowl of alien vomit] Aren't I lucky, I got a chunky bit!

Barry: What are we gonna do if we're spotted, Frank?
Frank: Well... I guess we shoot the bastards.

Barry: Why can't aliens be friendly?
Derek: There's no glowing fingers on these bastards, we've got a bunch of Extra-Terrestrial psychopaths on our hands, like a visit from a planet full of Charlie Mansons, they've started on something small, its my guess they'll go onto something bigger next time, Christchurch, Wellington...
Barry: Auckland?
Derek: Yeah well that wouldn't be so bad.

Frank: Just remember, we're only authorized to use violence when protecting the planet.
Barry: And the moon.
Frank: Yeah, and the moon.

Frank: This isn't gonna be another false alarm like the Manor Street invasion over there, is it?
Derek: Well, how do you explain the disappearance of an entire township, Frank? Oh! The Kiwi Jonestown, of course, that's it! Drinking beer laced with cyanide from little polystyrene cups.

Frank: Well, I guess we'll have to issue a gun to Ozzy.
Barry: Yeah, but don't forget about his personality disorder.

[after frank had to drink the "gruel"]
Frank: oh christ, you'll never believe what i had to do!
Ozzy: umm... did you have to drink some chuck?

[after drop-kicking an alien's head out of a window] The old magic is still there.

after trying to fire on barry with an empty gun oh sod it!

Eat lead sucker!

I think the gruel is ready!

I'm a Derek and Dereks don't run!

I'm born again!