Willie: It's Christmas and the kid's gettin' his fuckin' present.

I said, "Next," goddamn it! This is not the DMV!

I'm not your fucking Da-Da.

OW! Watch the toenails, kid. Shit!

Things are fucked up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me fucking her sister, now I'm out on my ass.

I'm an eating drinking shiting fucking Santa Clause.

Marcus: More booze, more bullshit, more butt-fucking
Willie: Sure, the 3 B's.

Kid: Should I fix you some sandwiches?
Willie: I don't want any fucking sandwiches. What is it with you and fixin' fucking sandwiches?

Hindustani Troublemaker: I am not gay!
Willie: What the hell, buddy?
Hindustani Troublemaker: Buddy? I said I am not gay!
Willie: Are you off your fucking meds or something?
Hindustani Troublemaker: Yes. But that isn't what this is about. You're as queer as a ten dollar bill.
Willie: Let me tell you something, motherfucker. My brother lost a goddamn arm fighting you fuckers in Vietnam. So I want you to look at me. I want you to look at my face one last fucking time. This is the last thing you're ever gonna see before I...
Hindustani Troublemaker: [grabs Willie and pins him against the car] Elf fucker! Motherfucker. Elf fucker! Who's the bitch now, Santy Claus? Faggy Claus! Faggy...
Kid: Leave Santa alone!
Hindustani Troublemaker: Little boy, don't interfere. I am doing this for all of us.
Kid: Leave Santa alone!
Hindustani Troublemaker: [Willie pulls free. Hindustani Troublemaker turns to leave] Ass clown.

Willie: You can't drink worth a fuck.
Marcus: I weigh ninety-two pounds you dick!